Bath times are usually a happy time in our house. The girls bathe together, and they love it! Jenelle pats Meri's tush and say, "nakie bottom Meri!" and Meredith occasionally dives for Jell's toes, thinking they are a passing toy that needs to be chewed on. Such was not the case the other day.
It all began when Meri started crying. She stood up and as I went to grab her, Jenelle and I noticed at the same time that Meri was pooping. In the bath. Jenelle proceeded to scream and scramble FRANTICALLY out of the tub as if her life depended on it. (When do I get to run screaming from the room?) As I stood there frozen, totally at a loss for what to do, she deposited three lovely logs in the water.
I sent Jenelle to retrieve a bag of wipes, and honestly, miracles do happen, she returned with said bag in her hands. There's a first for everything. So I cleaned Meri, sat her down, and went fishing. As I finished bagging the toys for a later but thorough sanitizing, Jell screamed, "More poopies!" I turned and saw another tootsie roll on the bathroom floor behind me. More wipes, more bags, more sanitizing. Walking to the trash, I found two more treats in the hall.
At this point, you're asking, why wasn't she in a diaper? I'll answer - she had now pooped as much as she usually does in 2-3 days, not 2-3 minutes. And I was just trying to get things under control enough to get them back into fresh water with LOTS of soap. Got that cleaned up, sprayed down the tub, and sent Jenelle to go fetch Meri who seemed to have wandered off again (I promise, sometimes I am a little more on top of things. The girls don't normally run totally wild and naked).
Meri started crying, which tends to mean Jenelle is trying to drag her to me, against her will (I really gotta stop thinking Jenelle can help in times like this). Before I could run to the rescue, Jelly started to scream. Unusual? Oh that's because the nightmare was nowhere near over. Upon arriving, I was sure that Jenelle had now pooped all over the brick, and smushed it all around, and I do mean ALL AROUND for fun. But no, this was more of our little, angelic Meredith's doing (Honestly, where did all the poo come from???).
Jenelle had her eyes closed as if she was unable to face the horror, and was screaming and flailing her arms because she had stepped into a tiny, tiny bit of it which was mashed between her little toes. In her defense, nobody likes the feeling of fresh feces between their toes, but I kinda thought my first priority was to keep Meri from eating it, which she was most persistently interested in doing. However Jenelle wouldn't stop screaming and throwing herself at me until both toes were spotless. Helpful. This was one of those moments where you look around and have NO IDEA what to do. A few dozen arms would be helpful, for starters.
Anyway, I got them cleaned somehow (even washed the poop off of Meri's upper lip), in the tub, and then tried to figure out how to sanitize brick, or at least remove the seriously disgusting discoloring. All I wanted to do was burn the house down. I changed my whole outfit despite the fact that I couldn't find any keepsakes on it. I'm sure it was somewhere, how could it not have been? Oh yeah, and all of this happened about 20 minutes before my visiting teacher was dropping off her 2 year old for me to babysit.
Moms are shockingly underpaid. So hopefully I haven't made you swear off having kids (like my sister), or given you nightmares for the next week. Hey, there was a warning, and I only wrote this upon request. I keep getting told that these are the things we laugh about later. Perhaps much later.
And just for fun (and don't forget to check the "Family Fun" album for new Halloween pics (at the end)):
8 comments:
This is so funny!!! I have been sitting here and laughing out loud through the whole thing. Tommy does the run out of the bath if there is poo but the funny thing is that it is his. Not exactly sure what that means pooaphobic I guess.
I love it!
One day I put Jackson in time out (which is in his crib) he had only been in there for 30 seconds maybe when he started crying. This wasn't the usual cry of I don't want to be in here..it was a "I'm hurt" cry. I run in there to find Jack basically as far as he could get in the corner of the crib screaming. His diaper is off and there is a huge man poop in the middle of his bed..with more poop smeared all over the sides of the crib. -it looked like he had some on his leg and he had wiped it off of his leg and was trying to wipe it off of his hands on the bed- He was screaming to me "mooooom, there yuckies." Geta the yuckies off moma." "Help pease!" I was sooo relieved when Dave just happened to come home from work right then. Lets just say he has not done that again and has been very good at going poo poo in the potty!
We all have poop stories. One of the many - I don't recall how old Tab was - probably 18 months. ANyhow - bathtime and yep - mysterious floaties. Before I can pull her out, she happens to grab the one that has a chunk of corn in it and pops it into her mouth. Yep - we all have our poop stories.
Just be grateful you're not trying to potty train a little boy - who wants to pee like Daddy - standing up - even though his privates aren't even at the height of the bowl. Yes - tippy toes help a little bit - but not enough. Still - he's pretty good with aim! Daddy is so proud. Yikes.
Okay, this is the best story ever! I love it! And, I agree that we are shockingly underpaid.
Maybe next time you can sit her on the potty and she can be potty-trained by before 1 year! YEAH! ha ha!
I love this!!! We have had a few fun poop experiences and a lot more to look forward to with another one coming soon. I love Janelle's reaction. I can't blame her, but it is too funny!
Thanks for all the poop, everyone!
Well hello there Whitman family. Cooper this is Daniel & Dalynn Thomas. I just happened to stumble across your blog and it was so great to hear about your family. A side from the poop mishap you seem to be happy as ever. If it makes you feel any better we wash bed sheets 2-3 times a week because we haven't figured out you don't give your kid three glasses of juice before bed. We'll keep checking your blog so keep us up to date on all the Whitman happenings.
Danny! So long! Keep in touch.
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