Lady, you have your hands full (as if I didn't know!)

In hopes that you can enjoy a laugh at my expense, here's a chat conversation my husband and I just had:

me:  holy chaos

g poop exploded in the swing outside

trying to get it off her leg i got poop in i's water table

while i was inside changing her, dude confiscated m's popsicle, causing a total meltdown

 Cooper:  WOW

 me:  i had to remove the whole swing fabric while g screamed

 Cooper:  oh, man. oh man

 me:  i then dumped out the water, making a huge mud puddle

didn't think that through thoroughly

sent m to quiet time so she could get ahold of herself, which she protested wildly

then dude began painting his legs with mud

 Cooper:  WOW

the same poop mud?

 me:  have to deal with that before he comes in but g screams loudy each time i think of putting her down

and yes, the poop mud

so, how's your afternoon going?

 Cooper:  that. is. amazing.

 me:  just looked down and g is asleep sitting up in my unsanitary hands

Cooper:  wow

 me:  wish she'd stay that way

 Cooper:  of course

man, I'm sorry.

what an afternoon.

 me:  and i need to put dude straight in the shower

good thing i just remembered there's a poopie diaper in there

 Cooper:  just add it to the list

that's absolutely amazing

I'm so sorry

 me:  that wasn't the afternoon by the by

that was 15 minutes

 Cooper:  well sure.

got any more big plans for the evening? Major blowups? Poop on the walls?

 me:  well dude is running around naked so you never know

Cooper:  fun!

 me:  while i typed that, he peed all over the futon

 Cooper:  kid's a machine.

 me:  i now feel like i need one of those sanitizing machines from monsters inc

 Cooper:  2319! 2319!!!

 me:  pretty sure i've been contaminated by a human child

or two

or four

 Cooper:  clearly

 me:  i need some chocolate