Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Lady, you have your hands full (as if I didn't know!)

In hopes that you can enjoy a laugh at my expense, here's a chat conversation my husband and I just had:

me:  holy chaos
g poop exploded in the swing outside
trying to get it off her leg i got poop in i's water table
while i was inside changing her, dude confiscated m's popsicle, causing a total meltdown
 Cooper:  WOW
 me:  i had to remove the whole swing fabric while g screamed
 Cooper:  oh, man. oh man
 me:  i then dumped out the water, making a huge mud puddle
didn't think that through thoroughly
sent m to quiet time so she could get ahold of herself, which she protested wildly
then dude began painting his legs with mud
 Cooper:  WOW
the same poop mud?
 me:  have to deal with that before he comes in but g screams loudy each time i think of putting her down
and yes, the poop mud
so, how's your afternoon going?
 Cooper:  that. is. amazing.
 me:  just looked down and g is asleep sitting up in my unsanitary hands

Cooper:  wow
 me:  wish she'd stay that way
 Cooper:  of course
man, I'm sorry.
what an afternoon.
 me:  and i need to put dude straight in the shower
good thing i just remembered there's a poopie diaper in there
 Cooper:  just add it to the list
that's absolutely amazing
I'm so sorry
 me:  that wasn't the afternoon by the by
that was 15 minutes
 Cooper:  well sure.
got any more big plans for the evening? Major blowups? Poop on the walls?
 me:  well dude is running around naked so you never know

Cooper:  fun!
 me:  while i typed that, he peed all over the futon
 Cooper:  kid's a machine.
 me:  i now feel like i need one of those sanitizing machines from monsters inc
 Cooper:  2319! 2319!!!
 me:  pretty sure i've been contaminated by a human child
or two
or four
 Cooper:  clearly
 me:  i need some chocolate


Hannah said...

Been there. Cleaned that. Hope you find you some chocolate.

Lyndsey said...

Oh man Matt and I were laughing so hard at this I started crying. My fav is the 2319 part. Contamination of human child....yep I think so... Also love the 15 minute part... and the kid is a machine... seriously I want to put it all on my wall and laugh everyday!! Miss you sooo much!!

Gel said...

That is the best .... I'm dying laughing. It sounds a lot like my days!!! At least you have some excitment in your life right! Hope you are getting settled and doing well.

Darcey and Jeff said...

Been there done that. Those are the never ending days when at some point you have to laugh or you will cry. Chocolate always fixes everything! Hope things get a little more boring soon!

Anna Collett said...

Hahaha Gross... You just pushed back my having children...