Jeopardy!

One night, when I was around 14 years old, my family and I were all gathered around the television watching Jeopardy. Despite the fact that most members of my family enjoy watching Jeopardy (we like to feel smart), this was not a nightly ritual, or even a usual occurrence. It just happened this night.

At the beginning of the game Alex Trebek was reading over the cleverly written category titles as always, when he read a title about religion. I wish I remembered the title, because I am sure that there was some brilliant play-on-words in it. Anyway, we watched intently because we knew, as you faithful Jeopardy watchers may also have noticed, that there is often a question about the LDS Church in Jeopardy's religion categories. Sure enough, there was one. It went something like this: "It is the age at which young men become Elders in the Mormon Church." None of the contestants knew the answer, which was not surprising. What was surprising, however, was that Alex and the oh-so-clever Jeopardy writers also didn't know the correct answer! The answer given was "What is 19."

Now, obviously, they are referring to missionaries, who are given the title of "Elder" once becoming a full-time missionary--and this usually occurs at the age of 19. However, young men most commonly become ordained to the office of Elder at the age of 18. I was excited that I knew something that smug little Mr. Trebek didn't, so I decided to write a letter. (At this point in the story I planned to say "The letter I wrote went something like this... and then provide an abstract account of the letter I wrote. However, I now realize that I have no idea what I wrote--but whatever it was, it was probably pretty boring and already summed up in the preceding paragraphs. So I will not say that here.)

Two weeks later, I received a postcard in the mail with a picture of Alex Trebek's giant moustache-clad face and poodlish grey hair on the front (see the above image). It might have been autographed. But I doubt it. On the back, there was a typed response to my letter. It went something like this:

Thank you for your letter.

The question you were referring to was the age at which Mormon young men become Elders. Because of your letter we have done more research and found that, as you said, Mormon young men become Elders at the age of 18. However, we also found that they receive the title of Elder at the age of 19. So technically, we are both partially right.

Thank you again for your letter.

Sincerely,
The Jeopardy! Team

Ha! Would you have expected anything less from Jeopardy? "We're both partially right." Anything to be smarter than anyone else--including a 14 year-old boy! Oh, good times.

So that's my story.

Lessons Learned from the Best Weekend Ever

Every weekend just keeps getting better and better as life goes on. This one was primarily spent resting and trying to recover from little Jella's traumatic week. We're all feeling better now! So here are the lessons I learned this weekend.

1) After kids, no more kissing. Ever. No matter what. Babies have a 6th sense or something that enables them to feel when their parents begin to kiss. They then begin to whine and cry as if something is wrong. Upon picking them up to comfort them, the babies inevitably give you the smile that says, "gotcha." Or maybe this just happens to me.

2) I love root beer. I mean really love root beer. A&W is the best, along with Brick Oven (although BO could use a little more carbonation). It's just so good. Nothing better.

3) On Sundays, if channel-surfing between KBYU, BYU-TV and Animal Planet you come across a World Series game in the bottom of the 9th, the Lord will forgive you for just watching that half-inning. 30 seconds after I changed the channel, Scott Podsednik hit a walk-off home run. In a World Series. And I missed it. But don't worry, it happens all the time. Jeez.

Have a fabulous day! P.S. There's more pics of Jella in the album.

Apparently she doesn't like needles.

Wednesday was a big day for Jella. Her first shots. She did extremely well with the first one--just flinched for a second, and then kept smiling. But as soon as the second one hit, she turned bright red and just stopped screaming last night at about 3 a.m. That's right, about 36 hours of screaming with a couple of 10 minute breaks in there. Unfortunately, that also meant that sweet JellaMama was also tearful for the last 36 hours as well. She took more breaks between crying spells, though. Apparently the Pain Cry is harder on moms. Needless to say, we haven't slept much lately. That on top of a few take-home essay tests, some Testing Center tests, and a couple of papers to write, it's been a crazy week. The only difference I can see between this past week and the coming week is that Jella won't be getting any shots. So we might be able to sleep, which will be nice.

So I haven't been able to post and I haven't really been able to read any of your blogs. I'm terribly sorry! I hope to return to old form soon, but who knows? I've been promising it since I quit work. Which reminds me, Cicada, now you know what I do with my time now that I'm unemployed. Hope all is well for all. May your days be void of babies in pain!

Can't Get No Satisfaction

Here's a little something to tide you over 'til I can blog again and explain why I'm not blogging!



Hope this satisfies you!

P.S. I sent some altered thoughts to newsweek as well as a copy to the Daily Universe. What an... umm... honor it would be to get it printed in the paper! I'll let you know. I already did get a nice e-mail from newsweek assuring me that they read each and every e-mail but even though mine was really good they wouldn't reply. It sounded kind of generic though....

Charlie's Chocolates

This weekend some cousins of mine took care of the beautiful Jella for a couple of hours so that JellaMama and I could go on a date! Naturally, we went to the dollar theater where we took in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It has received so many reviews covering the entire spectrum, so let me put all of those to rest. We all know that my movie reviews are the most reliable anyway.

It was fabulous. Notice I used the word fabulous. Normally, I don't like that word, and I especially don't like it when men use it. I won't explain why. Hopefully I don't need to. Just know that that word is... strange. But it does describe the Charlie movie perfectly. Whether you like the old one or not, which I did, I urge you to see this version. I laughed so hard that I almost lost control of my bowels (much like Daltongirl) at times. It was visually stunning--so stunning that if the rest of the movie sucked I would recommend it just for the visuals. The colors made it beautiful, and the music that the oompa loompas (who are also hilarious) sing was very imaginative.

Many didn't like it because of Johnny Depp's character. I loved the character, although I can see why folks would take issue with him. He was extremely weird, and many of his mannerisms could be seen as annoying. I, however, didn't find them as such. I thought he was hilarious as well. Plus, this version contained something that the old version completely missed--a message. The family (not any particular family--I'm using The Family in that generic way that the Church does) was the central theme in the movie, and in the end, it's all that matters. I loved this film, as did my wife. May you love it too!

P.S. Because of strong demands and potential death threats, there are many new pictures of Jella in her digital photo album. Enjoy. They are the last 26 or so in her album.

Further information

So thanks to CJ and his readers' digging, it has been discovered that the reporter responsible for the newsweek article is a "lifelong member of the LDS Church." Here is a link to an interview she did, in which she is very upbeat and speaks of the Church as any good member should: Elise Soukup

After reading this interview, my opinion of the reporter has changed dramatically. Many answers she gave directly contradict some of the conclusions I drew from her report, and at times I found myself judging her character--whether my judgments were correct or not, that doesn't matter; it's wrong either way. So I apologize to her and to all of you for that.

However, the article's shortcomings are still there. The things I pointed out that are wrong with the article have not improved just because she's a member of the LDS Church. What I think led to the irresponsible fact-gathering and unethical reporting, as I called it, was her knowledge of the personalities of her editors. I think that she knew that reporting on the LDS Church as one of its members would be tricky business if her editors were to think that she was doing a "balanced" job. This is probably why it contained so much on polygamy, had many disrespectful statements about the Prophet, etc.: she knew that by including an account of the First Vision (although factual in her mind), her editors would see that as a "pro-LDS Church" statement. Therefore, she included much of the other stuff to "balance" the article out. Like I said in my first critique, I don't fault the reporter for the article--in fact, I am very grateful for it. When the Church gets press, I am generally ecstatic. I just take issue with some things, and that hasn't changed. I am in the process of editing my thoughts and sending them to newsweek. Just thought I'd include an update for those of you still interested!

newsweek, Mormons, and Media Ethics

WARNING: This post is long. Very long. Read only when you have time, but I'd love comments.

On other blogs around the neighborhood, the adequacy or stupidity of the newsweek article The Mormon Odyssey is being debated heavily. It has been asked many times of me what my feelings are on the matter. So, rather than speak in generalizations on the blogs of others, let's now speak of specifics on mine!

I have issues with the article--that is no secret. On an organizational note, I will discuss my problems with it in the order in which they arise in the article. While I always love balanced arguments, I will not discuss in depth the things I liked about the piece. Generally, the positives are obvious: any publicity is good publicity, it gives a synopsis of Joseph Smith's first vision and even mentions that Mormons are nice. Which is cool. I think, as is the case with many newsweek articles, the negatives are hidden and well-placed so as to do the most damage.

Keep in mind that I'm a communications student specializing in media issues and have worked as a writer at a Portland news station; I don't trust the media in general. Personal experience and all the research I do give me reasons not to trust the media. Whether the countless things that trouble me about the media can be blamed on the profit-first system, readers/viewers/listeners or biased media members individually is a discussion for another time. But keep those things in mind so that I can feel like I've prefaced this post with enough about my own biases to keep me honest. Oh, and I'm obviously a practicing member of the LDS Church. So I'm a little huffy.

So here we go with the Pointing Out (italics are direct quotes).

1) The characteristic features of the LDS Church--sacred temple rites, personal revelation, tithing and a history of polygamy--come directly from Smith. To be fair, the next sentence does talk about families and other wonderful things about the Church. But calling polygamy a characteristic feature of the LDS Church isn't just disrespectful, it's false. As a University of Utah professor (not a member of the Church) was quoted in the Daily Universe yesterday as saying "You wouldn't confuse the Roman Catholic Church with the way it was during the Inquisition, but people do that with the LDS church--cover it like something it's not." Polygamy is not a characteristic feature of the LDS Church. It was, a long time ago. Aside from me bristling whenever polygamy has to be mentioned when talking about the Church, this is a false statement--in a news source. That's bad.

2) After Smith ordered an antagonistic printing press destroyed, he was jailed. This statement is completely factual, every part of it. But this is where reporters have to be careful in accurately representing the truth. In the article so far it has only been mentioned that Saints were "driven" from community to community, and that this printing press was "antagonistic." So to mention that Joseph Smith had the press destroyed after characterizing the mobs and antagonizers as only a bit irritating is a misrepresentation. These men were, at best, printing lies and, at worst, inciting murder, torture, arson and rape with the lies they printed. It's not difficult to do research and find out more history. I have seen some of the articles. I have no doubt that the reporter and editors knew that Missourians were doing more than just "antagonizing" and "driving" members. Whether this was a deliberate oversight or not would be interesting to know--I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, personally. But in leaving out key points that would change the representation of a man's character completely, those responsible were showing poor ethics, or at least poor researching techniques.

3) Central tenets of Mormonism seem confusing--even literally incredible--to those outside the faith. An angel named Moroni? "Plural" marriage? See #1. Are you kidding me? Plural marriage as a central tenet? If you are LDS and this doesn't irritate you, then, well... you are more Christlike than me. And I'm impressed. Bottom line: it's False. In a news source.

4) The church's early converts, many of whom learned about it from missionaries, were sometimes shocked when they met Smith in person. He was uneducated, he lost his temper, he enjoyed power.... Let's see, where to start? How about not including the fact that many of the "church's early converts" "were sometimes shocked when they met Smith in person" for completely opposite reasons--many claimed that just by looking at him they couldn't deny that he was a prophet of God. Often enemies intent on harming him even walked away at the sight of him, not being able to deny the power that he had over their hearts. Again, not giving both sides of the story is misrepresentation, although factual. Perhaps even worse about this passage is "he enjoyed power." How would the reporter know this? This is poorly stated. Joseph Smith hated power. His journals say it. He sought political power for reasons other than a desire to have it. Do your research. Remember, this is a news source.

5) To conclude the paragraph (mentioned in #4) explaining many things that early converts didn't like about Joseph Smith (and also interviewing a member of the Community of Christ), the reporter decided to include: By the end of his life, he had accrued some 30 wives, massive debt and hundreds of enemies. "I never told you I was perfect," he told his followers. "But there is no error in the revelations which I have taught." Again, though not necessarily false, the ordering of these sentences does more damage than falsity could. This is a powerful statement by Joseph Smith, but to place it here makes it sound like he's apologizing for making enemies and practicing polygamy. He never apologized for these things. He never said "In spite of my mistakes in practicing polygamy, my message is true." He practiced polygamy because he believed that God had commanded him to. According to him, it wasn't because he was giving in to his base desires to have sex with lots of women (as was and continues to be claimed by countless critics). He never apologized for it. This sounds like he is. Misrepresentation through the ordering of specific sentences. In a news source. Brilliant.

6) "Decades of serious and honest scholarship have failed to uncover credible evidence that these Book of Mormon civilizations ever existed," he wrote. This is a quote by a historian that scientifically has proven that Native Americans are descendants of Asians. As we all know, you can use science to prove just about anything, and our society usually does. I have no doubt that many Native Americans are descendants of Asians. Asia is a big continent. That could mean anything. The fact that the reporter doesn't include that many historians have found the exact opposite as this guy, again, is a misrepresentation of the facts. Much credible evidence, despite what this man says, has been found and continues to be found. Read almost anything by Hugh Nibley on the subject of the ancient peoples of the Americas, and you will doubtless find his research completely credible. Do the research behind the things that he says if you don't want to take his word for it. You will be surprised what you find. To include this in the report with no rebuttal is, again, poor ethics.

7) While LDS scholars, of course, reject that conclusion, some are re-examining common theories about the Book of Mormon's geography, suggesting that it takes place near an isthmus in southern Mexico instead of across the Western Hemisphere, as many readers previously assumed. This was included immediately following #6. Again, the placement of this sentence gives the impression that "LDS scholars" "are re-examining" their theories because of science like this historian presented. In fact, it gives the impression that they're re-examining their theories exactly because of this historian's science. While this may be factual, that some LDS scholars are scrambling to prove stuff because this guy said something, I doubt that many are. There is just as much historical evidence to disprove this historian as there is to support him. LDS scholars know this, and most probably agree with him in his assessment of Asian decent among Native Americans, but disagree with his assessment of Book of Mormon historical sites.

8) The church is likely always to be more comfortable with orthodoxy than with inquiry, and this year's celebrations won't bring the unsolicited airing of dirty laundry (a church-sponsored art exhibit about Smith made no mention of his polygamy, for example). Is it physically impossible to mention Joseph Smith's name without mentioning polygamy? Fo r reporters it appears to be, but the Church is actually having the gall to try. To hold an exhibit about Joseph Smith without mentioning polygamy? The nerve! Can you believe that?!? That would be like holding an exhibit on President Clinton and not mentioning that he lived in Arkansas! In the whole scheme of the life of Joseph Smith, polygamy was not a defining characteristic. Even worse about this statement is calling polygamy "dirty laundry" (see #5). Members of the LDS Church should not be ashamed of this. It's a fact, we believe that God commanded it, and therefore it was correct. It was not a mistake. It was not dirty laundry. It was a commandment, and Joseph Smith followed it against his own will. Read his journals. Read the journals of those who knew him. The Church does not, and its members should not consider polygamy "dirty laundry." This is an opinion included in a straight news article. Poor ethics.

So as not to have a whole new item devoted to the same problem, I will just mention here that later in the paragraph it is mentioned that an LDS historian and professor is publishing a book and giving a series of lectures about Joseph Smith. Some LDS leaders apparently attended the lectures. The report said, "I ran the risk of making them bridle at me," he says. "But they liked the talks. And that leads me to believe that we don't have to bury our stuff anymore. We're able to deal with the problems and accept them." That's great. I'm sure his lectures were good. But to place this at the end of the paragraph it's in makes it sound like he's calling polygamy a problem again. If he is, I believe he's mistaken. But he doesn't say that here, and it makes more sense to me that the reporter is putting it here assuming that he's calling polygamy a problem. It wasn't a problem the way in which it is presented here.

9) Though the LDS Church stands by polygamy as a divine--albeit revoked--revelation.... Again, factual. But one cannot deny that the placement and wording of the phrase "albeit revoked" appears sarcastic. It was a divine revelation. It was revoked. That is true. But the writing seems sarcastic, as if to discredit the belief and say "if it's so divine, why was it revoked." Though you may not have interpreted it that way, it is easily interpreted it as such. Many people, no doubt, have. It is the responsibility of the reporter to remain neutral.

10) In Utah after Smith's death, polygamy was practiced openly: at its height, at least 25 percent of adults in some communities were members of polygamous households. Totally factual, as far as I know. It would be more ethical, because your article is about the Mormon Church and not small Utah communities, to also include the fact that the % of overall church members that practiced polygamy was much smaller. Not a big deal, just an issue.

11) However, LDS doctrine holds that some polygamist marriages will exist in the celestial kingdom, the highest tier of heaven. False. The President of the LDS Church is the only one authorized to set forth church doctrine, as church doctrine states. A President of the Church has not taught that. Therefore, this is not LDS doctrine, as far as I know. If anyone knows of a President of the Church saying this in a reputable source, let me know. Members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles do not set forth doctrine for the Church. Never have, regardless of book titles or the way in which they speak. Only the President can do so and ever has.

12) "I am devastated when people say I am not a Christian, particularly when generally that means I am not a fourth-century Christian," says Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. This just deserves specific praise. For the reporter to include this in a paragraph that also has quotes about Mormons not being Christian is good reporting. It's balanced. It shows both sides of this story. And it's a reputable source. Kudos for including this.

13) Yet something made people leave their homes to follow him, to endure persecution and risk death. This is not a big deal, and you will probably think me ridiculous for taking issue with this--you're probably right. But given the other misrepresentations in the article, I am now inclined to become nitpicky. People didn't just risk death for the prophet Joseph and the Church he founded, they actually died. Thousands were murdered and raped. They weren't just risking anything--they were victims.

14) But his most meaningful contribution was as "prophet, revelator and seer," as he called himself.... This is the final blow for newsweek. The epitome of why newsweek cannot be considered a news source. Again, same issues, so I will try to keep it succinct. It's factual, he did call himself that--by establishing that he was a prophet and that a prophet is a seer and a revelator also. But this paints him as an egomaniac. It would have been more representative to say "as his followers call him," or "as his followers believe him to be," or "as LDS doctrine states." Whether he was an egomaniac or not is not a proven fact. He could have been, according to the world. He may not have been. This is an opinion. In my view, it's a bad one. This is a misrepresentation of a man's character, painting him as something he might not have been. Reporters cannot base things on "might."

The reporter is a former BYU student. I do not know if she is a member of the LDS Church. Although I am grateful for her having pitched the idea to her editors and for all of the publicity the Church is getting because of this report, having gone to BYU, she should have known better on many of these issues.

So here's the conclusion: the media are biased. Perhaps more importantly, so are you. So am I. Why is it such a surprise and a salient issue that reporters are biased? Everyone has biases, and everyone makes decisions based on those biases. Where I have problems are where media members claim that they put their biases aside because of their job to "shine light on dark corners of society." I do not doubt that they try, and that they succeed a lot of the time. But nobody can keep biases out of their decision making all the time. It is folly to think that we can. The problem with the media in general is that most of them have the same biases, so they come to believe that all of America has these same biases. This explains why the media is always so amazed when conservative people and issues get voted for. They don't see how it's possible, because everyone with whom they associate didn't vote in that way. It's groupthink, and it's dangerous. I'd rather give people the benefit of the doubt and say that they say and do things because they sincerely believe that the society in which they live feels the same way than to believe that they have biases and they are intentionally trying to influence people through the guise of truth. I don't believe the latter. I believe in the sincerity of people, even those in the news business. They are just misguided.

Unemployed

I quit. My last day at Occupation is Friday. This mainly has to do with school, as the 3 tests I've taken so far this semester were all Cs. I'm going to be applying to graduate school in Oregon at the beginning of next semester (probably), so this semester's grades are really important--and I've got a few pretty intense courses right now. So I quit! Now for the real feat: actually studying with the extra time I have.

It was a tough decision, as we will now have almost no income. My wife works on call and when she's working it will be about 10 bucks an hour and from home, so that'll be nice. But I've always wanted to provide at least a little bit for my family--I will be giving nothing. Beautiful JellaMama pointed out that by not working now, the theory is that I will get better grades--better grades means graduate school, graduate school means meeting future goals and providing better then.

So student loans here we come! And for coworkers who might be reading this and are aware of a developing situation at work that has been irritating me, that situation has very little to do with my departure. It really is grades--and happiness, I guess. Every day I leave work I do so in the worst of moods. I was hired to be an editor of English, not an editor of computer code. Although this does make me unhappy, quitting for academic reasons is a more valid excuse. So I'll stick with that one.

This shouldn't affect my blogging, except that I won't have work stories to post anymore. Oh well. I should still have a few minutes on campus now and then to post.

If anyone has spare moneys, I would like them.

Lessons Learned from the Best Weekend Ever

Not in chronological order.

1) French people who endure ridicule graciously and even fight back (friendlily, of course) are acceptable. Case in point: French EQ President says in sacrament meeting something to the effect of: "To keep the Sabbath day holy, we should be sure to be prepared for our meetings by reading the lessons ahead of time, and not make fun of French people." Perhaps you had to be there, but it was wonderful. That's one Frenchman that's on good standing with me.

2) If you give a talk about Visiting Teaching, don't announce your subject at the beginning of your talk. It was a wonderful talk, but you should have seen how many male heads dropped to be propped up on fists in that "I'm not listening and I wish my wife were rubbing my back right now, maybe this'll give her the hint" position.

3) I can put on a suit and tie (tied to the perfect length, by the way) and prepare an EQ lesson while driving to church. Praise be to Jella for helping me find something new about myself.

4) Tevye dancing to "If I were a rich man" is one of the best things that have ever been invented in this life. It's right up there with dark chocolate and babies. While we're on the subject, Gwen Stefani should be given three life sentences for what she's done to that song. In Shawshank. Being forced to wear an Andy Dufrane mask. She's pure evil.

5) Jella is a giant. To us, she hasn't grown much since the day she was born--we see her every day. But we spent Saturday night with some cousins who have a week-old girl who is basically the same size as Jella was. Apparently, Jella has grown to roughly the size of a small country.

6) Shrek 2 is much funnier than Shrek. This weekend I was reminded that as good as the first was, the second is much funnier. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Unless you are one who visits my blog, in which case it all cancels out and you are a wonderful person.

7) Newsweek is the devil. I have always disliked newsweek (it doesn't deserve capitalization or italicizination), despite having my picture in it as a small boy, because it's as if they don't even attempt to be truthful. Time at least tries. But this is possibly the worst yet: The Mormon Odyssey.

8) The Natural is not one of the five best sports movies ever, no matter what all of the Best Sports Movies of All Time Lists that Come Out Every Time a New Sports Movie is Released say. It's fine and the cinematography is just plain beautiful, but does not deserve to be put in the Top Five. My Top Nine, in order (unless I've forgotten about one, in which case you need to ask me why I didn't include it--even I make mistakes). May you forgive me for starting a list in the same format as the current list--I hope you don't get confused.

1) Field of Dreams (if you are a man that does not get teary-eyed in this movie then you should never procreate)

2) Miracle (the true story makes the movie amazing)

3) Hoosiers (don't give me race or "bad basketball action" issues with this one--those arguments don't hold water)

4) Tin Cup (partially because hometown hero Peter Jacobsen wins the Open in it)

5) Major League (would be number one if it were based on the Mariners)

6) Rudy (would be higher if it weren't Notre Dame)

7) Caddyshack (would be higher if it weren't for all the sex)

8) A League of Their Own (so high solely because of the line "There's no crying in baseball!")

9) For Love of the Game (If you have issues with my list based on this movie, you're right--the woman isn't that great, Kevin Costner always has some acting issues, and there's unnecessary sex in it--but he pitches a perfect game against the Yankees. Therefore, Top Nine.)

Why are there not ten, you ask? Because I can't decide on the tenth. There are too many okay ones to be in there. The Natural might even be in the conversation.

It's little lessons like these that make life meaningful. Enjoy your day.

Back to as normal as I can be...

Some of you might have noticed some subtle changes to the aesthetic aspects of the blog. If so, well done. If not, I'm kind of worried about you. Anyway, I think I'm through fiddling with stuff, unless I can figure out how to do some wicked cool deal that would immediately give this blog the title "Greatest. Blog. Ever." However, I don't see it happening. So now that I'm through making it pretty, I hope to be back to my normal blogging self Monday. Great weekends all around!

New Albums Again

Just letting everyone know that under "Digital Photo Albums" in the right sidebar there are two new albums! I know, exciting. There are also 4 or 5 more pictures in Jella's album, a few more in the Sans Jella album, and LOTS in the other two. May you all find us good looking.

Both New and Improved!

So if you're a particularly astute observer, you might have noticed a few improvements in the sidebar to the right that I have been slowly implementing over the last week. Well... ta-da!

Digital Photo Albums


Finally! I figured out a way to post photo albums online (I know, but for me that was extraordinary)! This is, of course, for anyone who wishes to see the Beautiful Angel that is Jella from every possible angle in every possible situation, as well as somewhat less-important pictures of her pretty-darned-good-looking parents. The real reason it is here, however, is for family members back home who are apparently on a hunger strike until they are able to see more pictures of the Angel. This way they can even order prints if they want! I know, I'm even more brilliant than you all thought. Just click on the link, then click on the picture (don't worry about signing in), and enjoy. (Thumbnails are on the bottom of the page if you drag your mouse over them so that you don't have to click through all of the pictures one by one if you don't want to.) The pictures of Jella are in chronological order, roughly, so if you're not into the hospital puff-face pictures, then just skip to later in the album. The album of JellaMama and I is pretty sparse, I know, but it will improve shortly. The paintings of Finding Nemo characters were all by JellaMama while waiting "patiently" for the Munchkin's arrival. She's amazing.

Links

"Mormons Actually" takes you to the Web site of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I realize that most of my visitors are already members of the LDS Church, but after a previous post that was overflowing with sarcasm about LDS culture, I thought it a good idea to include a link to a site with actual truth about the faith.

"Blazer News" is a link to the Blazers' news Web site. Although you may not care about the team, I do. And it's my blog. So there.

"Addictingest Game Ever" is pretty self-explanatory. Download and enjoy. WARNING: Not for the short of time. It is like 24. You will become addicted.

"Can't Miss Homestar" is also self-explanatory. Hopefully you don't need a reminder to get your daily Strongbad E-mail fix. WARNING: Not for those born without a sense of humor.

BlogFriends

Now trust me on this one--visit all of these sites. I do a lot of research so that I can ensure my readers that from my blog they will only get links to the very finest in Bloggerton. Well, I generally just add whoever adds a link to my blog on theirs, but I figure that if they do so they should be rewarded for their good judgment with a space on mine--generally.

So enjoy the new Cooped Up! I hope to be making a face lift to the whole blog sometime soon, but I have to learn how first. So be anxious for that! I wish you all a wonderful day and hope that looking at pictures of Sweet Baby J will help you in that goal.

Great Jokes

As we visited with our friends up in Salt Lake on Friday night I was reminded of his favorite joke. And because my favorite joke got such an overwhelming response last time, I thought I would tell his.

So there are two guys walking through the desert, and they happen upon a hole that they can't see the bottom of. So one says to the other, "Let's see how deep it goes."

So they pick up a small rock, and toss it in. No sound. So they get a really big rock, heft it over to the hole, and toss it in. Again, no sound.

So they come across a railroad tie. Now I don't know if any of you have ever been up close and personal with a railroad tie, but they're huge. Anyway, so they toss it down the hole.

And then, out of nowhere a goat comes running and jumps in the hole! "Wow. That was really weird," one says to the other.

A short time later a desert farmer (he grows sand or something) comes walking up and says, "Have you guys seen my goat?"

"Oh, no," says one guy. "It was really strange. I don't know how to tell you this, sir, but your goat just came running out of nowhere and jumped in this hole."

"But that's impossible," says the farmer. "I had him tied to a railroad tie!"


Oh man. Good stuff. Here's his wife's joke. Also great.

How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Let's ride bikes!

Best. Weekend. Ever.

What a fabulous weekend! Just what I needed to maintain my love for family and religion while possibly even weakening my apathy for work and school. So here's a recap!

Friday evening I accompanied JellaMama to her mission reunion up in Salt Lake, and enjoyed showing off Jella (although most of the RMs there just found it extremely weird that JM had a baby and avoided us--I loved it). It was a potluck and we didn't bring anything, so JM didn't eat anything. I had three plates (of food). We left early and visited some friends up in Salt Lake that we never see and had a fabulous time. They're pretty much the coolest couple in the world, despite the fact that they're both engineers. They still know how to converse with the human world, and pretty darn well even. I wish they lived closer. Sigh. Good. Times.

Saturday morning watched Conference, which was wonderful. Immediately after the morning session was over we left for Salt Lake again because we had tickets to the afternoon session. Yippee! I have never seen Conference in person, so I was really excited. JM knew that it would be a huge hassle to get Jella there and everything, but she accepted the tickets because she knew how excited I'd be. What a woman. Anyway, as I was about to drop her off to go get our seats, we decided to actually look at the tickets: "Children under 8 not admitted." I had actually heard that before, but apparently didn't think that it applied to Jella. Since we were all the way up there, we decided to listen to the session from a lawn on Temple Square, where I heard Elder Holland's superb talk. Probably my favorite of the weekend, although it had some stiff competition from Elder Nelson's, President Hinckley's Sunday morning Forgiveness talk, and Elder Bednar's Priesthood Session talk. Anyway, have any of you been to Conference live? I had heard about all of the madness outside the conference center with the Anti-Mormons in full force, but it was different up close. I would really like to talk one-on-one with a rational person of that scene, but I find that they are hard to come by. I would like to speak with them to find out what their purpose is. I don't believe that it possibly can be to change minds or to convert, so what would the purpose be? If their purpose is to convert, I would like to give them a few suggestions: screaming obscenities about men that we all feel a deep love and admiration for doesn't win any hearts. I could teach them the commitment pattern. It might actually do the Kingdom a little harm as they might have some success, but at least then I wouldn't have to listen to the offensive crap they're spewing. I would repeat it, but I wont. It was somewhat humbling however to enter the walls of Temple Square and not hear any of the outside madness--only the singing of The Choir and the sound of peace. So that was nice. As was laying on the grass with my little family looking at the temple and hearing the words of prophets. Could it get better?

Yes! Afterwards, we stopped by the Church Museum across the street. We saw some newly acquired Rembrandt etchings there, and although I wouldn't generally be a huge fan of drawings by some famous old guy, these were truly amazing. I highly recommend visiting the exhibit. Did you know that Rembrandt died with only one possession: his bible? He made art at a time when the Catholic Church didn't commission it, and therefore made all of his biblical art for free. So all of the etchings were completely free of Catholic or Sectarian influence (unlike Michelangelo and others)--just his own impressions after reading scripture. Maybe because of this, even just etchings had a very different spirit about them. We also walked through the new Joseph Smith exhibit and were again extremely touched. It was a wonderful feeling to have the Spirit confirm that the truth about Joseph Smith was being spoken inside those walls--not by the people with picket signs outside.

Went to Priesthood Session at the Marriott Center that evening, and find it funny how few men can take up so many seats in that stadium. If it were a Relief Society broadcast, all the seats in one section would be taken up before moving to another one. For the Priesthood Session, all sections were populated, and most men took up more than one seat. Good stuff. Afterwards, Jella, JM and I had my parents' gift card treat us to late never-ending pasta bowls at Olive Garden. We were there, and we were family. So I guess they're right. Nothing interesting to say about that, just another detail to show that this weekend was the best. Ever. To top the day off, Jella slept for 7 hours that night. Pure bliss.

Sunday morning another pair of good friends came over to watch the session with us. They will also be one of the coolest couples ever once they're married in two weeks. The session was amazing, of course. Occupation's commercials between sessions, however, were not. I was sorely disappointed after hearing so much about them. Jella Mama also continued her long tradition of making cinnamon rolls (that take a good portion of the day to make) on Conference Weekend, much to the delight of all of our neighbors. And me.

I have a question for you. Here's a scenario for background: Between sessions, you might have seen a little video narration of a book about the walnut tree in President Hinckley's back yard that was turned into the pulpit in the Conference center. It was a cute little thing, and is an extremely touching story. I had good feelings about the whole deal until I saw the end credits, and who narrated it. I saw that it was an administrator here at Occupation. I have never met this administrator. He or she seems like a good human being. So why did I not like the little ditty anymore once I saw that he or she narrated it? Hmm... I'll let you know if I figure it out.

The Giant came over again today to do his laundry. I heard that he went inside the dryer to look for a sock and found a half-goat thing named Tumnus. That must have been cool.

Bottom line is, that was the best weekend ever! Conference impressions?