Monday, October 10, 2005

Lessons Learned from the Best Weekend Ever

Not in chronological order.

1) French people who endure ridicule graciously and even fight back (friendlily, of course) are acceptable. Case in point: French EQ President says in sacrament meeting something to the effect of: "To keep the Sabbath day holy, we should be sure to be prepared for our meetings by reading the lessons ahead of time, and not make fun of French people." Perhaps you had to be there, but it was wonderful. That's one Frenchman that's on good standing with me.

2) If you give a talk about Visiting Teaching, don't announce your subject at the beginning of your talk. It was a wonderful talk, but you should have seen how many male heads dropped to be propped up on fists in that "I'm not listening and I wish my wife were rubbing my back right now, maybe this'll give her the hint" position.

3) I can put on a suit and tie (tied to the perfect length, by the way) and prepare an EQ lesson while driving to church. Praise be to Jella for helping me find something new about myself.

4) Tevye dancing to "If I were a rich man" is one of the best things that have ever been invented in this life. It's right up there with dark chocolate and babies. While we're on the subject, Gwen Stefani should be given three life sentences for what she's done to that song. In Shawshank. Being forced to wear an Andy Dufrane mask. She's pure evil.

5) Jella is a giant. To us, she hasn't grown much since the day she was born--we see her every day. But we spent Saturday night with some cousins who have a week-old girl who is basically the same size as Jella was. Apparently, Jella has grown to roughly the size of a small country.

6) Shrek 2 is much funnier than Shrek. This weekend I was reminded that as good as the first was, the second is much funnier. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Unless you are one who visits my blog, in which case it all cancels out and you are a wonderful person.

7) Newsweek is the devil. I have always disliked newsweek (it doesn't deserve capitalization or italicizination), despite having my picture in it as a small boy, because it's as if they don't even attempt to be truthful. Time at least tries. But this is possibly the worst yet: The Mormon Odyssey.

8) The Natural is not one of the five best sports movies ever, no matter what all of the Best Sports Movies of All Time Lists that Come Out Every Time a New Sports Movie is Released say. It's fine and the cinematography is just plain beautiful, but does not deserve to be put in the Top Five. My Top Nine, in order (unless I've forgotten about one, in which case you need to ask me why I didn't include it--even I make mistakes). May you forgive me for starting a list in the same format as the current list--I hope you don't get confused.

1) Field of Dreams (if you are a man that does not get teary-eyed in this movie then you should never procreate)

2) Miracle (the true story makes the movie amazing)

3) Hoosiers (don't give me race or "bad basketball action" issues with this one--those arguments don't hold water)

4) Tin Cup (partially because hometown hero Peter Jacobsen wins the Open in it)

5) Major League (would be number one if it were based on the Mariners)

6) Rudy (would be higher if it weren't Notre Dame)

7) Caddyshack (would be higher if it weren't for all the sex)

8) A League of Their Own (so high solely because of the line "There's no crying in baseball!")

9) For Love of the Game (If you have issues with my list based on this movie, you're right--the woman isn't that great, Kevin Costner always has some acting issues, and there's unnecessary sex in it--but he pitches a perfect game against the Yankees. Therefore, Top Nine.)

Why are there not ten, you ask? Because I can't decide on the tenth. There are too many okay ones to be in there. The Natural might even be in the conversation.

It's little lessons like these that make life meaningful. Enjoy your day.


Stupidramblings said...

Stupidramblings said...
must disagree with you about Shrek, Shrek 2, AND Madagascar for that matter. None of these movies are funny. Sure, they had funny parts, but the movies themselves weren't groundbreakers

Two reasons Shrek 2 was NOT more funnier than Shrek.

1) Shrek had a 'newness' to it. It was fresh; it was original; it had a plot and a moral. (You must note at this point that I laughed maniacally a couple times in the original Shrek.) Nevertheless, I was completely dumbfounded when I watched Shrek the second time when I DIDN'T LAUGH ONCE. Which brings me to point #2

2) I continued my non-laughing streak right into Shrek 2. I didn't find the story engaging and it lacked that 'newness' that made the original marginally great.

I didn't understand why Shrek 2 was not funny to me until I saw Madagascar. It seems as though they are coming up with jokes AND THEN trying to jam them into a weak plot. In fact in the case of Madagascar AND Shrek 2, it seems that there is little to no plot and the jokes are just plot devices.

This is getting long.

Similarly, Napoleon Dynamite (ND)is a compendium of running gags that are plot devices, not plots. What is the difference? People talk about ND and they quote it all the time. In fact, it has changed our culture a bit. It also gets better every time you watch it.

My point--eh I just wanted to post on Coop's blog for once since I never do.

10/10/2005 12:36 PM

Coop said...

Thank you for finally commenting!

And as payment, here's why you're wrong about Shrek 2.

1) Who needs plot in a movie that funny? It's a cartoon movie about an ogre and a talking ass. I think if you're looking for plot, you should know going in that you're not going to find it there.

2) Newness or not, Shrek 2's writing is on a totally different plane. I still laugh histerically at Shrek 2. Shrek, not so much.

3) I said so.

Thanks again for commenting!

Cicada said...

As one who hated Shrek and swore never to watch Shrek 2 but broke my oath, I must say that SR is wrong in this case. Shred 2 was absolutely hysterical. If a movie like that doesn't make you laugh, you live in a sad world.

One of the funniest Frenchman I know once commented when I was at his house and his wife was breastfeeding their child: "Our babee, he likes to dine at Hooters." Now say that with a thick French accent and see if you're not laughing.

Do I know the Frenchman in your ward, by the way?

Savvymom said...

Shrek 2 was way funnier than Shrek. SD doesn't like either of them but actually laughed during shrek2.
Also, I hope this post means you hate the Yankees. Cross your fingers the Angels beat them tonight! The Yankees are of the devil.

daltongirl said...

Tweengirl's favorite song = "If I Were a Rich Girl," by Gwen Stefani. She even maintained her loyalty when we saw a picture of her taken during fashion week, and she was wearing a polyester sweat suit that looked like a giant Gatorade bottle. With leopard-print high heels.

If you feel the need to come over and beat some sense into tweengirl, my door is open to you. We don't believe in doing the actual beatings ourselves, but if the need arises, we have been known to hire out.

Coop said...

C: His name is Sebastien. Do you know him, or are Canada and France so related that you feel you know everyone in BOTH countries?

SM: The Yankees are the devil. This must be understood by all. The only reason I could excuse someone from liking the Yankees is that they were born and raised in New York, or are really old (from back when the Yankees were the only team.

DG: I will not personally beat anyone. However, I have no problem inciting a riot where beatings occur.

ambrosia ananas said...

Hmmm. I actually really liked the article. And I'm afraid I liked Shrek much more than Shrek 2.

Cicada said...

Ambrosia, you're also a crack smoker. CRACK SMOKER! How could you possibly have liked that article? Did you know that there was more than one page?

Coop, I lived in the French house a few years back and I'm a French major. That means that I either know or know of most French people in the area. I don't think I know Sebastien, though. Unless his wife's name is Maria, in which case, he falls under the "know of" category and he plays tennis with the guy whose baby dines at Hooters.

coopmama said...

Just wanted to say that I have no opinion about Shrek or Shrek2 except for the trailer that my son made me watch, which was pretty funny (Puss 'n boots) husband forbids it--and I always do what my husband says!

Actually, I have to work now, but reading Coop's blog and all your comments gave me a big laugh in an otherwise not so funny day!


Coop said...

Three cheers for CoopMama! Welcome to Bloggerton!

gregory hines said...

Coop has many females commenting, but not many males. Is that a real trend or do I just remember inaccurately? I'm glad to notice that arguments containing ridiculous false dichotomies are still in style. Stand-up comedians would be unemployed clowns without them. What would we do if we didn't have matters of taste to argue about?

I saw Shrek. It was over-hyped. I've not seen the sequel. I do like Fiddler on the Roof. I like the song he sings about Havelah.
Gotta leave work--maybe more comment later...

Limon said...

I'd be interested to see your list of funniest movies.
I am, for some reason, fascinated by seeing what people learn. This list was extremely pleasant reading for me. Thanks!

Oh, and I was not upset by the article, but rather by the LDS people quoted dropping the ball.

Coop said...

You know, GH, Father In Law says the same thing about my blog. Too many women. I figure, unless my wife starts getting worried about it, I'm in good shape.

Limonada: Glad you enjoyed it--I'm always looking for blogging ideas. Top Nine lists are always good.

My favorite part of the newsweek article: "But his most meaningful contribution was as 'prophet, revelator and seer,' as he called himself...." This is a classic example of what I hate about newsweek. Yes, it's true--but they pretend like they don't know what that phrase means in pop culture. It would have been entirely more accurate to say " his followers say," or something along those lines. Death to newsweek.

Giantinlaw said...

When you start the riot make sure im there, its always good to have someone big on your side and sometimes sports just dont do it for me i need a better escape mechanism