Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Be sure to send this to 100 people or you'll die.

I got one of those mass forwards the other day from CoopSister--the kind that asks a billion questions and you are supposed to fill in your own answers. I'd complain, but it's from my sister and, besides the fact that she reads my blog (supposedly), I always love hearing from her. Thought it might be cool to post my answers to this. We'll see.

1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES?
Blue--could a question be more useless?

2. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW?
Book of Mormon (though not as much as I should), and textbooks (though not as much as I should). Reading for pleasure went out the window a long time ago. Actually, I rarely find pleasure in reading anyway. Unless it's the Chronicles of Narnia series. Or Sports Illustrated. I can't get enough of those.

3. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
American flag. I stole it from my friend Pops. Or it could have been Red's. It matters not. It's mine now.

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Sequence, but basically anything my wife will play with me. Except Monopoly. We don't play Monopoly. Through years of contentious games, JM's dad has conditioned her to think that anyone who wants to trade properties is trying to screw her over. So we don't play.

5. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS?
Body odor. Other people's anyway. I don't really mind mine. Yeah, that's gross.

6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING?
NNNOOOO!!!

7. FAVORITE COLOR:
Blue

8. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR:
Depends on the situation. If it's on a car, white. If it's on men's clothing, pink. It all depends.

9. HOW MANY RINGS until YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
I was wrong about the plates question. This question is worse.

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
With all of the trouble we had with naming our current child, do you think we have any idea what to do in the future? Plus, even thinking about another child when memories of the pregnancy and birth are still fresh is making me queasy. In fact... I'll be right back.

11. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Well, since chocolate is the only choice with taste, I'll go with chocolate. Dark is preferable.

12. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Yes, in fact I do. If I had a lot of money it would be a huge temptation to buy some really nice cars and go flyin' around. But that is contingent on having a lot of money, so we should have nothing to worry about.

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
If anyone does, at this age, they should lose their sleeping privileges. (No offense to anyone that does. [snicker])

14. DO YOU LIKE THUNDERSTORMS:
Heck yeah, baby! Brasil had amazing storms. I miss those.

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
1979 Volkswagen Rabbit--Mexico Beige. Oh, that baby was sweet. It was tricked out--complete with an empty bottle of Jolt (yeah, I was a rebel) to stuff under the emergency brake to keep it up. Broke my heart when he died--his name was Nacho. [sniff]

16. SIGN?
I've always really liked the "Slow Children Playing" one. That's a cool sign.

17. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
I didn't know that cutting off the stems was something that people do until my wife started doing it. I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "Cutting off the stems." It was quite a time. I, on the other hand, eat it all--cooked or raw. When I was a kid I would pretend that they were trees and I was a giant. I don't do that much anymore.

18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE?
My dream job would be to be a sports columnist for a newspaper. BIG salary, write one article per week--of opinion, no less--and be required to watch sports? I don't think it'd get better than that, aside from actually playing sports for a living. Or being a musician, except that doesn't pay as well. Okay, apparently I have a few dream jobs.

19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Lightening. It's the color of the Oregon Ducks' football uniforms. Nike says that they actually invented a color and called it lightening. It looks like they're a bunch of highlighters running around. That would be really cool as hair.

20. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
Depends on what's in the glass. If we're talking my daughter's future? Half full! If we're talking the future of Hillary Clinton's political career? It's gotta be half empty. Which would make it half full for me.

21. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?
Braveheart (although I'm not admitting to having seen it), Pirates of the Caribbean, Return to Me, Finding Nemo, etc.

22. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
The right keys, the left keys, the up and down keys, I use 'em all, baby! Except for that crazy Scroll Lock--what does that do, anyway? (Please, if you know, don't tell me.)

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
JellaMama's plastic container of socks, two folding chairs, a tent, blankets, and, most likely, some chapstick.

24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?
12

25. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
I will literally watch and get into any sport except for figure skating. I have been known to watch Australian Rules Football matches at three in the morning and be cheering. I have not been known to watch figure skating at any time. Or cheer for it. Ever.

26. YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST INTENSE PAIN?
Can a pain be big? I guess if a really fat guy feels pain all over his body that would be a big pain. But if we're talking my single most intense pain, worms on the mission. (The inside kind, not earthworms. They don't bite or anything.) Or getting knocked in the junk playing ball or something. Either way, intense pain, even if only for a short time--nothing compared to giving birth, so don't jump on me for that.

27. PERSON MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Thank goodness this is on my blog and not E-mailed... you don't have to! Or feel bad for not doing so.

28. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
CoopSister said, "Awe, so easy...Coops!" (Her daughter, CoopNiece, calls me "Coopsie," by the way, but CoopSister swears she doesn't know where that came from.) This'll show her! Of course, it could have been reverse psychology....

30. HAMBURGER OR HOT DOG?
Both! However, nothing beats a burger at Stanich's. If you ever go to Portland, ask someone how to get there and get a Special and root beer. You'll think you've died and gone to heaven. However, with all of the grease, you might actually die. Hopefully you'll go to heaven.

31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
I like Oregano, Basil, or good old salt and pepper. Oh, you said "season," not "seasoning?" Oh. Then that would be basketball season. Although college football season is right there. And baseball season gives them all a run for their money if the Mariners are good.

32. THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN?
Oregon, and Rio de Janeiro, Brasil. The natural beauty of those two places is unmatched.

33. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW?
A slide show of Sweet Baby J, JellaMama, and others. The computer knows better than to put up pictures of me too often.

34. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
How fast does the food have to be? Cafe Rio is spectacular, as is the aforementioned Stanich's. There's also an Escape from New York Pizza in Portland that can't be beat. However, if we're just talking really fast food, McDonald's fries are the best, and Burger King's burgers are the best.

35. YOUR BIRTH NAME?
We don't do that here. We're too good for birth names.

8 comments:

Savvymom said...

Chocolate is the only flavor mentioned. You're totally right. Vanilla is chocolate before the chocolate's been put in. I'm glad you see things this way.

Anonymous said...

Coop, you know how you used to feel like a giant? well i always do, and whoever thought of cutting off stems of broccoli must be pretty hoity toity or french, and you know what that means.

Giant Bro in law

gregory hines said...

first thing i think when i wake up in the morning?

Crap, why is so much light coming in my window... crap...

favorite number

13

favorite color

That weird shade of green that the grass reflects right before a tornado. The color of excitement.

Red said...

...you have my mousepad.

Cicada said...

One time, I went to G.H.'s house and I woke him up. I bet his first thought was, "What the he-?"

Also, I type the "B" key incorrectly, so I'm pretty much screwed when I'm on an ergonomic keyboard.

On the topic of passalong emails, there was this one that my dad got once from his aunt and uncle who are very old and not Mormon. It was all religious, like, "When you go to heaven, God won't care what kind of car you drove, but how many people in need you gave rides to." The series continued on and on (won't care how big your house is, but how many people you gave shelter to) and I thought it was sweet, mostly because it came from old people. THEN I got to the END, and it said, "God won't care how many people you forwarded this email to, but why you were ashamed to forward it." I thought, "That's great. As if 'Your cat will die if you do not forward this email to 20 people in 30 seconds' wasn't good enough, they've made our email forwarding habits into one of the criteria by which God will judge us!"

I hope I don't go to Hell because I forwarded it to no one.

Limon said...

Those forwards are like when they would collect silly stats on the mission. We always made a point of supplying our own stats:

Not just how many dinner appointments, but how many times we chewed.

Not just how many discussions we had, but how many bike-wheel revolutions it took to get there.

So, what's your favorite shade of phlegm?

Coop said...

Savvy: Having right-minded individuals like yourself visit my blog make it all worth it.

"Little" Bro-i.-L.: You calling your sister French? Hoity-toity perhaps, but French? I'd challenge you to a duel if you weren't so freakishly massive.

GH: The color of certain death has always done it for me too. Sicko.

Red: You should never have let me live with you.

Cicada: Everyone's screwed with an ergonomic keyboard. Worst invention ever. And I'm sure you'll be in fun company in hell, I wouldn't worry.

Limonada: I had a companion that used to work in a respiratory clinic or something, where people would come in if they had really bad, phlegmmy coughs. He said that if you lay them on one side and tap pretty lightly on their ribcage for about 15 minutes they would stand up and immediately cough out all of the phlegm. He said that you could always tell who smoked pot because their phlegm would be somewhat fluorescent. I guess my favorite shade would be that one.

Th. said...

.

I've been thinking of those sweet pink duds all day. Where did you find those, Coop?

Here at my high school, pink is huge for guys. Pink shirts, shoelaces, backpacks....

But don't worry--they're all as homophobic as ever.