Through my first two days of school, there was one in every class: Dude. This is the kid who is wearing faded jeans with a pink belt, sparklingly white shoes (untied), a bright pink shirt with some ridiculous phrase like "Girls Rule" or "I need a date really bad--that's why I'm wearing this ridiculous shirt," a pink wristband (yes, the same thing that sweaty people who play sports wipe the sweat off their faces with), and bleached hair so spiky that at one time I actually thought that his head was on fire. And now, females, I have to know: is this attractive?I don't mean to sound like some old curmudgeon (see codger, fogy), because I do remember a time where everything I did was to get the attention of members of the opposite sex. However, I did desire good attention, which is why I asked the above question. This can't possibly be getting Dude dates with quality girls. I see this as maybe the male counterpart of the Dallas Roberts "student" (that I hear so much about on other blogs) with hair that's half black and half blond, low-rider jeans that show her buttcrack, and a surgically-implanted cell phone with pink-sequins on her ear. How do these people get dates?
Philosophies on how to get people to look at them in class (because once a girl looks at him it is, so obviously, in the bag) may actually differ. One Dude sits in the back corner and doesn't say anything. I'm actually convinced that this Dude is the one that has a healthier self-esteem, and wouldn't seriously consider jumping from his Helaman Halls window if the girl in front of him doesn't turn around and compliment him on his hair. The other Dude, however, I worry about. He raises his hand more than anyone else and makes comments that only he (and perhaps Dallas Roberts Chick) could possibly think are brilliant. These comments might include:
"How 'required' are these books? Like, I mean, will I be tested and stuff on them?"
"When you said that you're pretty 'liberal' with grading, did you mean, like, politically?"
"If anyone wants to make a study group to go over this syllabus, I'll give you my phone number."
Disclaimer: I don't mean to judge, although I'm doing it. If you are Dude, or if you are attracted to Dude, I don't mean to offend. I only mean to know what the heck you're thinking.
10 comments:
My opinion may not count, since I'm married and old, but when I see Dude up there blessing/passing the sacrament, wearing a thin, white shirt over his black, beer-advertisement t-shirt, my first impulse is to run up and power slap him before dragging him into the hall by his Scooby Doo tie and beating him to a pulp. Using my matching handbag, of course. Also, I would rip out all his stupid bleached hair.
I rarely do this. I believe it's Dude's parents' responsibility; however, in a college-type situation, you may be entirely justified. I suggest getting his number to "go over the syllabus," and then when he shows up, give him a going over. Somebody's got to teach Dude a lesson.
Dude and DRC date *each other*, of course. Like attracts like. And heaven have mercy on their children.
When you first started using words like "pink" and "sparkly" and describing the hairstyle and attire, I was thinking something *totally* different.
Daltongirl: Though many of us feel this impulse in sacrament meeting, rarely do we comment about it on the internet. I worry about your temper. However, if you would like to follow through on this desire to beat the living crap out of Dude, let me know when and I'll pay a visit to your ward.
Brozy: I will try to be clearer next time. However, confusion often follows Dudes who wear pink and sparkly attire.
I'm operating under a head-in-the-sand hope that no one from my ward will ever read my blog. Or yours. Other than that, I believe being open with one's feelings tends to let the steam off a little. So I'm pretty calm most of the time--at least outwardly, which is, I guess, the scary part.
And when it's my kid that bleaches his hair and puts on a Scooby Doo tie, that will be the day I act. I'll try to let you know ASAP if something is going to go down. My chances increase by fifty percent this week, as I will have another priest on my hands.
Also, thanks for the link information. I was doing all that, but putting in the li tag business, and that wasn't working out. So know I know.
Glad you figured it out. Sorry to include all of that information that you already knew. I was in no way attempting to insult your intelligence. Unless, of course, it needs to be insulted, in which case, that's exactly what I was attempting to do.
I thought you were shooting for the BYU queer-factor too.
Coop, this is one of your more brilliant posts. Well, this one and the picture of Santa molesting our friend, of course. Between these two posts, my day has been made. Now you mentioned Dude's phone number...
What happens is that pink sparkle dude and Dallas Roberts girl get married, and they are the ones who then dress their little girls in the "little skank" outfits you see at KMart and such.
Savvymom: couldn't hurt. I've written those letters to Nobody Cares a time or two, and at least I can sleep soundly.
Savvymom: 1. WHY do you keep going to Nordstrom? 2. You should write a letter. A strongly-worded letter. You will probably be in the Ensign like those other girls who keep showing up in the paper/Church News/New Era like EVERY month, who insisted on modest formals. Almost makes me want to subscribe to the Deseret News, just so I can get your picture.
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