I generally put movies into two categories: good movies and entertaining movies. I had to mentally create the latter so that I could still enjoy the horrible ones. An example of what I'm talking about is The Mummy: the story stinks and the acting is lame, but at least those aren't as bad as the writing. Even with these weaknesses, The Mummy is entertaining--and with that new category of movies I can still enjoy that movie, bad though it was. Van Helsing didn't even make it into the same class as The Mummy--sad.In fact, here are more details from the night to illustrate just how bad the movie was. Most of you know that I love sports. All sports. I will even watch the dart-throwing championships on Fox Sports at 2 in the morning--I'm a sports addict. However, I will not watch figure skating. I don't know why, but it has the same effect on me that three-week old curry has on Cicada (think of Puss-in-Boots coughing up a hairball). That being said, my wife convinced me to watch Cutting Edge, a movie about figure skating, after we watched Van Helsing. The figure skating sequences were like watching Braveheart when compared with Van Helsing. I'm telling you, it was horrible (although Cutting Edge wasn't that bad). The lone bright spots were when Dracula's offspring would pop. They would just explode randomly. That was funny.
There was one interesting thing I noticed in Van Helsing. Every time Igor spoke I got the feeling that he should be serving beer in a small, underground bar in Boston. I think I finally figured out why.
7 comments:
You know, after a hard day of serving Dracula and stuff, you just want to where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came.
I am not sure why I was repeatedly subjected to terrible movies at my brother's house---I mean, he is married for crying out loud, and I respect his taste in movies and his wife's taste in movies. But sometimes they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel when it came to movie choices. I watched Van Helsing over there. I watched The Anchorman (sorry if you liked it---my only favorite part was, "I'm Ron Burgundy?"). I watched The Chronicles of Riddiculous. Ugh. I slept through two of three of those movies. Unfortunately, I stayed awake for Van Helsing.
Bwah hahahah! I am so sorry you had to watch Van Helsing. I would be sad too.
Because you figure, on the one hand, Hugh Jackman is hot. But on the other 8,000 hands, everything else about it looks pretty awful.
I want to clarify, Nemesis: ...YOU figure Hugh Jackman is hot. I didn't figure any such thing.
Before you bash, you have to understand the true art that is behind creating a movie. The special effects alone are outstanding! Yes, I agree that there are too many vampire/werewolf movies and they are all the same. The story line is alright--nothing grand. Movies are to be respected in an art sense. It is something created from the pure imagination. This movie was created in that way. Your imagination comes to live on the screen
While I think the world of you Cat, I apparently don't think the world of your taste in movies. We'll have to live with this disagreement between us, because I thought the "special" effects were lacking--nothing different than what's been done a hundred times before. I mean, when a pretty main character's makeup makes him look like Ted Danson, all cannot be well.
Forgive me, cat, but I believe that for people to expend hours of imagination and technology on a film, the underlying elements need to warrant the attention.
Dressing up crap in really pretty bows and CGI doesn't actually make it anything other than crap.
I think everyone involved would have been happier had Hugh Jackson actually came into your apartment and poured lemon juice on your spaghetti.
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