Don't worry though, the real reason you all visit here--pictures of Jella--will not stop. We will continue to add pictures to her album as much as possible. There's well over 150 now.
Later!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
So sorry...
I have officially become the worst blogger of all time, as I haven't posted in over a week. It's utterly pathetic, as I'm sure you all can agree. Unfortunately, it won't be getting any better for a while. School's pretty intense right now, so I have very little time. Plus, the free time I do have, well... I'm having way too much fun with the little one and her mom to waste time going on campus to use the internet. Hopefully after this semester is over I will be back to my old blogging self, but then there's Winter semester, which promises to be just as busy. Yeah. I'm excited.
Don't worry though, the real reason you all visit here--pictures of Jella--will not stop. We will continue to add pictures to her album as much as possible. There's well over 150 now.
Later!
Don't worry though, the real reason you all visit here--pictures of Jella--will not stop. We will continue to add pictures to her album as much as possible. There's well over 150 now.
Later!
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Jeopardy!
One night, when I was around 14 years old, my family and I were all gathered around the television watching Jeopardy. Despite the fact that most members of my family enjoy watching Jeopardy (we like to feel smart), this was not a nightly ritual, or even a usual occurrence. It just happened this night.At the beginning of the game Alex Trebek was reading over the cleverly written category titles as always, when he read a title about religion. I wish I remembered the title, because I am sure that there was some brilliant play-on-words in it. Anyway, we watched intently because we knew, as you faithful Jeopardy watchers may also have noticed, that there is often a question about the LDS Church in Jeopardy's religion categories. Sure enough, there was one. It went something like this: "It is the age at which young men become Elders in the Mormon Church." None of the contestants knew the answer, which was not surprising. What was surprising, however, was that Alex and the oh-so-clever Jeopardy writers also didn't know the correct answer! The answer given was "What is 19."
Now, obviously, they are referring to missionaries, who are given the title of "Elder" once becoming a full-time missionary--and this usually occurs at the age of 19. However, young men most commonly become ordained to the office of Elder at the age of 18. I was excited that I knew something that smug little Mr. Trebek didn't, so I decided to write a letter. (At this point in the story I planned to say "The letter I wrote went something like this... and then provide an abstract account of the letter I wrote. However, I now realize that I have no idea what I wrote--but whatever it was, it was probably pretty boring and already summed up in the preceding paragraphs. So I will not say that here.)
Two weeks later, I received a postcard in the mail with a picture of Alex Trebek's giant moustache-clad face and poodlish grey hair on the front (see the above image). It might have been autographed. But I doubt it. On the back, there was a typed response to my letter. It went something like this:
Thank you for your letter.
The question you were referring to was the age at which Mormon young men become Elders. Because of your letter we have done more research and found that, as you said, Mormon young men become Elders at the age of 18. However, we also found that they receive the title of Elder at the age of 19. So technically, we are both partially right.
Thank you again for your letter.
Sincerely,
The Jeopardy! Team
Ha! Would you have expected anything less from Jeopardy? "We're both partially right." Anything to be smarter than anyone else--including a 14 year-old boy! Oh, good times.
So that's my story.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Lessons Learned from the Best Weekend Ever
Every weekend just keeps getting better and better as life goes on. This one was primarily spent resting and trying to recover from little Jella's traumatic week. We're all feeling better now! So here are the lessons I learned this weekend.
1) After kids, no more kissing. Ever. No matter what. Babies have a 6th sense or something that enables them to feel when their parents begin to kiss. They then begin to whine and cry as if something is wrong. Upon picking them up to comfort them, the babies inevitably give you the smile that says, "gotcha." Or maybe this just happens to me.
2) I love root beer. I mean really love root beer. A&W is the best, along with Brick Oven (although BO could use a little more carbonation). It's just so good. Nothing better.
3) On Sundays, if channel-surfing between KBYU, BYU-TV and Animal Planet you come across a World Series game in the bottom of the 9th, the Lord will forgive you for just watching that half-inning. 30 seconds after I changed the channel, Scott Podsednik hit a walk-off home run. In a World Series. And I missed it. But don't worry, it happens all the time. Jeez.
Have a fabulous day! P.S. There's more pics of Jella in the album.
1) After kids, no more kissing. Ever. No matter what. Babies have a 6th sense or something that enables them to feel when their parents begin to kiss. They then begin to whine and cry as if something is wrong. Upon picking them up to comfort them, the babies inevitably give you the smile that says, "gotcha." Or maybe this just happens to me.
2) I love root beer. I mean really love root beer. A&W is the best, along with Brick Oven (although BO could use a little more carbonation). It's just so good. Nothing better.
3) On Sundays, if channel-surfing between KBYU, BYU-TV and Animal Planet you come across a World Series game in the bottom of the 9th, the Lord will forgive you for just watching that half-inning. 30 seconds after I changed the channel, Scott Podsednik hit a walk-off home run. In a World Series. And I missed it. But don't worry, it happens all the time. Jeez.
Have a fabulous day! P.S. There's more pics of Jella in the album.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Apparently she doesn't like needles.
Wednesday was a big day for Jella. Her first shots. She did extremely well with the first one--just flinched for a second, and then kept smiling. But as soon as the second one hit, she turned bright red and just stopped screaming last night at about 3 a.m. That's right, about 36 hours of screaming with a couple of 10 minute breaks in there. Unfortunately, that also meant that sweet JellaMama was also tearful for the last 36 hours as well. She took more breaks between crying spells, though. Apparently the Pain Cry is harder on moms. Needless to say, we haven't slept much lately. That on top of a few take-home essay tests, some Testing Center tests, and a couple of papers to write, it's been a crazy week. The only difference I can see between this past week and the coming week is that Jella won't be getting any shots. So we might be able to sleep, which will be nice.So I haven't been able to post and I haven't really been able to read any of your blogs. I'm terribly sorry! I hope to return to old form soon, but who knows? I've been promising it since I quit work. Which reminds me, Cicada, now you know what I do with my time now that I'm unemployed. Hope all is well for all. May your days be void of babies in pain!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Can't Get No Satisfaction
Here's a little something to tide you over 'til I can blog again and explain why I'm not blogging!
Hope this satisfies you!
P.S. I sent some altered thoughts to newsweek as well as a copy to the Daily Universe. What an... umm... honor it would be to get it printed in the paper! I'll let you know. I already did get a nice e-mail from newsweek assuring me that they read each and every e-mail but even though mine was really good they wouldn't reply. It sounded kind of generic though....
Hope this satisfies you!
P.S. I sent some altered thoughts to newsweek as well as a copy to the Daily Universe. What an... umm... honor it would be to get it printed in the paper! I'll let you know. I already did get a nice e-mail from newsweek assuring me that they read each and every e-mail but even though mine was really good they wouldn't reply. It sounded kind of generic though....
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Charlie's Chocolates
This weekend some cousins of mine took care of the beautiful Jella for a couple of hours so that JellaMama and I could go on a date! Naturally, we went to the dollar theater where we took in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It has received so many reviews covering the entire spectrum, so let me put all of those to rest. We all know that my movie reviews are the most reliable anyway.It was fabulous. Notice I used the word fabulous. Normally, I don't like that word, and I especially don't like it when men use it. I won't explain why. Hopefully I don't need to. Just know that that word is... strange. But it does describe the Charlie movie perfectly. Whether you like the old one or not, which I did, I urge you to see this version. I laughed so hard that I almost lost control of my bowels (much like Daltongirl) at times. It was visually stunning--so stunning that if the rest of the movie sucked I would recommend it just for the visuals. The colors made it beautiful, and the music that the oompa loompas (who are also hilarious) sing was very imaginative.
Many didn't like it because of Johnny Depp's character. I loved the character, although I can see why folks would take issue with him. He was extremely weird, and many of his mannerisms could be seen as annoying. I, however, didn't find them as such. I thought he was hilarious as well. Plus, this version contained something that the old version completely missed--a message. The family (not any particular family--I'm using The Family in that generic way that the Church does) was the central theme in the movie, and in the end, it's all that matters. I loved this film, as did my wife. May you love it too!
P.S. Because of strong demands and potential death threats, there are many new pictures of Jella in her digital photo album. Enjoy. They are the last 26 or so in her album.
Further information
So thanks to CJ and his readers' digging, it has been discovered that the reporter responsible for the newsweek article is a "lifelong member of the LDS Church." Here is a link to an interview she did, in which she is very upbeat and speaks of the Church as any good member should: Elise Soukup
After reading this interview, my opinion of the reporter has changed dramatically. Many answers she gave directly contradict some of the conclusions I drew from her report, and at times I found myself judging her character--whether my judgments were correct or not, that doesn't matter; it's wrong either way. So I apologize to her and to all of you for that.
However, the article's shortcomings are still there. The things I pointed out that are wrong with the article have not improved just because she's a member of the LDS Church. What I think led to the irresponsible fact-gathering and unethical reporting, as I called it, was her knowledge of the personalities of her editors. I think that she knew that reporting on the LDS Church as one of its members would be tricky business if her editors were to think that she was doing a "balanced" job. This is probably why it contained so much on polygamy, had many disrespectful statements about the Prophet, etc.: she knew that by including an account of the First Vision (although factual in her mind), her editors would see that as a "pro-LDS Church" statement. Therefore, she included much of the other stuff to "balance" the article out. Like I said in my first critique, I don't fault the reporter for the article--in fact, I am very grateful for it. When the Church gets press, I am generally ecstatic. I just take issue with some things, and that hasn't changed. I am in the process of editing my thoughts and sending them to newsweek. Just thought I'd include an update for those of you still interested!
After reading this interview, my opinion of the reporter has changed dramatically. Many answers she gave directly contradict some of the conclusions I drew from her report, and at times I found myself judging her character--whether my judgments were correct or not, that doesn't matter; it's wrong either way. So I apologize to her and to all of you for that.
However, the article's shortcomings are still there. The things I pointed out that are wrong with the article have not improved just because she's a member of the LDS Church. What I think led to the irresponsible fact-gathering and unethical reporting, as I called it, was her knowledge of the personalities of her editors. I think that she knew that reporting on the LDS Church as one of its members would be tricky business if her editors were to think that she was doing a "balanced" job. This is probably why it contained so much on polygamy, had many disrespectful statements about the Prophet, etc.: she knew that by including an account of the First Vision (although factual in her mind), her editors would see that as a "pro-LDS Church" statement. Therefore, she included much of the other stuff to "balance" the article out. Like I said in my first critique, I don't fault the reporter for the article--in fact, I am very grateful for it. When the Church gets press, I am generally ecstatic. I just take issue with some things, and that hasn't changed. I am in the process of editing my thoughts and sending them to newsweek. Just thought I'd include an update for those of you still interested!
Friday, October 14, 2005
newsweek, Mormons, and Media Ethics
WARNING: This post is long. Very long. Read only when you have time, but I'd love comments.
On other blogs around the neighborhood, the adequacy or stupidity of the newsweek article The Mormon Odyssey is being debated heavily. It has been asked many times of me what my feelings are on the matter. So, rather than speak in generalizations on the blogs of others, let's now speak of specifics on mine!
I have issues with the article--that is no secret. On an organizational note, I will discuss my problems with it in the order in which they arise in the article. While I always love balanced arguments, I will not discuss in depth the things I liked about the piece. Generally, the positives are obvious: any publicity is good publicity, it gives a synopsis of Joseph Smith's first vision and even mentions that Mormons are nice. Which is cool. I think, as is the case with many newsweek articles, the negatives are hidden and well-placed so as to do the most damage.
Keep in mind that I'm a communications student specializing in media issues and have worked as a writer at a Portland news station; I don't trust the media in general. Personal experience and all the research I do give me reasons not to trust the media. Whether the countless things that trouble me about the media can be blamed on the profit-first system, readers/viewers/listeners or biased media members individually is a discussion for another time. But keep those things in mind so that I can feel like I've prefaced this post with enough about my own biases to keep me honest. Oh, and I'm obviously a practicing member of the LDS Church. So I'm a little huffy.
So here we go with the Pointing Out (italics are direct quotes).
1) The characteristic features of the LDS Church--sacred temple rites, personal revelation, tithing and a history of polygamy--come directly from Smith. To be fair, the next sentence does talk about families and other wonderful things about the Church. But calling polygamy a characteristic feature of the LDS Church isn't just disrespectful, it's false. As a University of Utah professor (not a member of the Church) was quoted in the Daily Universe yesterday as saying "You wouldn't confuse the Roman Catholic Church with the way it was during the Inquisition, but people do that with the LDS church--cover it like something it's not." Polygamy is not a characteristic feature of the LDS Church. It was, a long time ago. Aside from me bristling whenever polygamy has to be mentioned when talking about the Church, this is a false statement--in a news source. That's bad.
2) After Smith ordered an antagonistic printing press destroyed, he was jailed. This statement is completely factual, every part of it. But this is where reporters have to be careful in accurately representing the truth. In the article so far it has only been mentioned that Saints were "driven" from community to community, and that this printing press was "antagonistic." So to mention that Joseph Smith had the press destroyed after characterizing the mobs and antagonizers as only a bit irritating is a misrepresentation. These men were, at best, printing lies and, at worst, inciting murder, torture, arson and rape with the lies they printed. It's not difficult to do research and find out more history. I have seen some of the articles. I have no doubt that the reporter and editors knew that Missourians were doing more than just "antagonizing" and "driving" members. Whether this was a deliberate oversight or not would be interesting to know--I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, personally. But in leaving out key points that would change the representation of a man's character completely, those responsible were showing poor ethics, or at least poor researching techniques.
3) Central tenets of Mormonism seem confusing--even literally incredible--to those outside the faith. An angel named Moroni? "Plural" marriage? See #1. Are you kidding me? Plural marriage as a central tenet? If you are LDS and this doesn't irritate you, then, well... you are more Christlike than me. And I'm impressed. Bottom line: it's False. In a news source.
4) The church's early converts, many of whom learned about it from missionaries, were sometimes shocked when they met Smith in person. He was uneducated, he lost his temper, he enjoyed power.... Let's see, where to start? How about not including the fact that many of the "church's early converts" "were sometimes shocked when they met Smith in person" for completely opposite reasons--many claimed that just by looking at him they couldn't deny that he was a prophet of God. Often enemies intent on harming him even walked away at the sight of him, not being able to deny the power that he had over their hearts. Again, not giving both sides of the story is misrepresentation, although factual. Perhaps even worse about this passage is "he enjoyed power." How would the reporter know this? This is poorly stated. Joseph Smith hated power. His journals say it. He sought political power for reasons other than a desire to have it. Do your research. Remember, this is a news source.
5) To conclude the paragraph (mentioned in #4) explaining many things that early converts didn't like about Joseph Smith (and also interviewing a member of the Community of Christ), the reporter decided to include: By the end of his life, he had accrued some 30 wives, massive debt and hundreds of enemies. "I never told you I was perfect," he told his followers. "But there is no error in the revelations which I have taught." Again, though not necessarily false, the ordering of these sentences does more damage than falsity could. This is a powerful statement by Joseph Smith, but to place it here makes it sound like he's apologizing for making enemies and practicing polygamy. He never apologized for these things. He never said "In spite of my mistakes in practicing polygamy, my message is true." He practiced polygamy because he believed that God had commanded him to. According to him, it wasn't because he was giving in to his base desires to have sex with lots of women (as was and continues to be claimed by countless critics). He never apologized for it. This sounds like he is. Misrepresentation through the ordering of specific sentences. In a news source. Brilliant.
6) "Decades of serious and honest scholarship have failed to uncover credible evidence that these Book of Mormon civilizations ever existed," he wrote. This is a quote by a historian that scientifically has proven that Native Americans are descendants of Asians. As we all know, you can use science to prove just about anything, and our society usually does. I have no doubt that many Native Americans are descendants of Asians. Asia is a big continent. That could mean anything. The fact that the reporter doesn't include that many historians have found the exact opposite as this guy, again, is a misrepresentation of the facts. Much credible evidence, despite what this man says, has been found and continues to be found. Read almost anything by Hugh Nibley on the subject of the ancient peoples of the Americas, and you will doubtless find his research completely credible. Do the research behind the things that he says if you don't want to take his word for it. You will be surprised what you find. To include this in the report with no rebuttal is, again, poor ethics.
7) While LDS scholars, of course, reject that conclusion, some are re-examining common theories about the Book of Mormon's geography, suggesting that it takes place near an isthmus in southern Mexico instead of across the Western Hemisphere, as many readers previously assumed. This was included immediately following #6. Again, the placement of this sentence gives the impression that "LDS scholars" "are re-examining" their theories because of science like this historian presented. In fact, it gives the impression that they're re-examining their theories exactly because of this historian's science. While this may be factual, that some LDS scholars are scrambling to prove stuff because this guy said something, I doubt that many are. There is just as much historical evidence to disprove this historian as there is to support him. LDS scholars know this, and most probably agree with him in his assessment of Asian decent among Native Americans, but disagree with his assessment of Book of Mormon historical sites.
8) The church is likely always to be more comfortable with orthodoxy than with inquiry, and this year's celebrations won't bring the unsolicited airing of dirty laundry (a church-sponsored art exhibit about Smith made no mention of his polygamy, for example). Is it physically impossible to mention Joseph Smith's name without mentioning polygamy? Fo r reporters it appears to be, but the Church is actually having the gall to try. To hold an exhibit about Joseph Smith without mentioning polygamy? The nerve! Can you believe that?!? That would be like holding an exhibit on President Clinton and not mentioning that he lived in Arkansas! In the whole scheme of the life of Joseph Smith, polygamy was not a defining characteristic. Even worse about this statement is calling polygamy "dirty laundry" (see #5). Members of the LDS Church should not be ashamed of this. It's a fact, we believe that God commanded it, and therefore it was correct. It was not a mistake. It was not dirty laundry. It was a commandment, and Joseph Smith followed it against his own will. Read his journals. Read the journals of those who knew him. The Church does not, and its members should not consider polygamy "dirty laundry." This is an opinion included in a straight news article. Poor ethics.
So as not to have a whole new item devoted to the same problem, I will just mention here that later in the paragraph it is mentioned that an LDS historian and professor is publishing a book and giving a series of lectures about Joseph Smith. Some LDS leaders apparently attended the lectures. The report said, "I ran the risk of making them bridle at me," he says. "But they liked the talks. And that leads me to believe that we don't have to bury our stuff anymore. We're able to deal with the problems and accept them." That's great. I'm sure his lectures were good. But to place this at the end of the paragraph it's in makes it sound like he's calling polygamy a problem again. If he is, I believe he's mistaken. But he doesn't say that here, and it makes more sense to me that the reporter is putting it here assuming that he's calling polygamy a problem. It wasn't a problem the way in which it is presented here.
9) Though the LDS Church stands by polygamy as a divine--albeit revoked--revelation.... Again, factual. But one cannot deny that the placement and wording of the phrase "albeit revoked" appears sarcastic. It was a divine revelation. It was revoked. That is true. But the writing seems sarcastic, as if to discredit the belief and say "if it's so divine, why was it revoked." Though you may not have interpreted it that way, it is easily interpreted it as such. Many people, no doubt, have. It is the responsibility of the reporter to remain neutral.
10) In Utah after Smith's death, polygamy was practiced openly: at its height, at least 25 percent of adults in some communities were members of polygamous households. Totally factual, as far as I know. It would be more ethical, because your article is about the Mormon Church and not small Utah communities, to also include the fact that the % of overall church members that practiced polygamy was much smaller. Not a big deal, just an issue.
11) However, LDS doctrine holds that some polygamist marriages will exist in the celestial kingdom, the highest tier of heaven. False. The President of the LDS Church is the only one authorized to set forth church doctrine, as church doctrine states. A President of the Church has not taught that. Therefore, this is not LDS doctrine, as far as I know. If anyone knows of a President of the Church saying this in a reputable source, let me know. Members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles do not set forth doctrine for the Church. Never have, regardless of book titles or the way in which they speak. Only the President can do so and ever has.
12) "I am devastated when people say I am not a Christian, particularly when generally that means I am not a fourth-century Christian," says Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. This just deserves specific praise. For the reporter to include this in a paragraph that also has quotes about Mormons not being Christian is good reporting. It's balanced. It shows both sides of this story. And it's a reputable source. Kudos for including this.
13) Yet something made people leave their homes to follow him, to endure persecution and risk death. This is not a big deal, and you will probably think me ridiculous for taking issue with this--you're probably right. But given the other misrepresentations in the article, I am now inclined to become nitpicky. People didn't just risk death for the prophet Joseph and the Church he founded, they actually died. Thousands were murdered and raped. They weren't just risking anything--they were victims.
14) But his most meaningful contribution was as "prophet, revelator and seer," as he called himself.... This is the final blow for newsweek. The epitome of why newsweek cannot be considered a news source. Again, same issues, so I will try to keep it succinct. It's factual, he did call himself that--by establishing that he was a prophet and that a prophet is a seer and a revelator also. But this paints him as an egomaniac. It would have been more representative to say "as his followers call him," or "as his followers believe him to be," or "as LDS doctrine states." Whether he was an egomaniac or not is not a proven fact. He could have been, according to the world. He may not have been. This is an opinion. In my view, it's a bad one. This is a misrepresentation of a man's character, painting him as something he might not have been. Reporters cannot base things on "might."
The reporter is a former BYU student. I do not know if she is a member of the LDS Church. Although I am grateful for her having pitched the idea to her editors and for all of the publicity the Church is getting because of this report, having gone to BYU, she should have known better on many of these issues.
So here's the conclusion: the media are biased. Perhaps more importantly, so are you. So am I. Why is it such a surprise and a salient issue that reporters are biased? Everyone has biases, and everyone makes decisions based on those biases. Where I have problems are where media members claim that they put their biases aside because of their job to "shine light on dark corners of society." I do not doubt that they try, and that they succeed a lot of the time. But nobody can keep biases out of their decision making all the time. It is folly to think that we can. The problem with the media in general is that most of them have the same biases, so they come to believe that all of America has these same biases. This explains why the media is always so amazed when conservative people and issues get voted for. They don't see how it's possible, because everyone with whom they associate didn't vote in that way. It's groupthink, and it's dangerous. I'd rather give people the benefit of the doubt and say that they say and do things because they sincerely believe that the society in which they live feels the same way than to believe that they have biases and they are intentionally trying to influence people through the guise of truth. I don't believe the latter. I believe in the sincerity of people, even those in the news business. They are just misguided.
On other blogs around the neighborhood, the adequacy or stupidity of the newsweek article The Mormon Odyssey is being debated heavily. It has been asked many times of me what my feelings are on the matter. So, rather than speak in generalizations on the blogs of others, let's now speak of specifics on mine!I have issues with the article--that is no secret. On an organizational note, I will discuss my problems with it in the order in which they arise in the article. While I always love balanced arguments, I will not discuss in depth the things I liked about the piece. Generally, the positives are obvious: any publicity is good publicity, it gives a synopsis of Joseph Smith's first vision and even mentions that Mormons are nice. Which is cool. I think, as is the case with many newsweek articles, the negatives are hidden and well-placed so as to do the most damage.
Keep in mind that I'm a communications student specializing in media issues and have worked as a writer at a Portland news station; I don't trust the media in general. Personal experience and all the research I do give me reasons not to trust the media. Whether the countless things that trouble me about the media can be blamed on the profit-first system, readers/viewers/listeners or biased media members individually is a discussion for another time. But keep those things in mind so that I can feel like I've prefaced this post with enough about my own biases to keep me honest. Oh, and I'm obviously a practicing member of the LDS Church. So I'm a little huffy.
So here we go with the Pointing Out (italics are direct quotes).
1) The characteristic features of the LDS Church--sacred temple rites, personal revelation, tithing and a history of polygamy--come directly from Smith. To be fair, the next sentence does talk about families and other wonderful things about the Church. But calling polygamy a characteristic feature of the LDS Church isn't just disrespectful, it's false. As a University of Utah professor (not a member of the Church) was quoted in the Daily Universe yesterday as saying "You wouldn't confuse the Roman Catholic Church with the way it was during the Inquisition, but people do that with the LDS church--cover it like something it's not." Polygamy is not a characteristic feature of the LDS Church. It was, a long time ago. Aside from me bristling whenever polygamy has to be mentioned when talking about the Church, this is a false statement--in a news source. That's bad.
2) After Smith ordered an antagonistic printing press destroyed, he was jailed. This statement is completely factual, every part of it. But this is where reporters have to be careful in accurately representing the truth. In the article so far it has only been mentioned that Saints were "driven" from community to community, and that this printing press was "antagonistic." So to mention that Joseph Smith had the press destroyed after characterizing the mobs and antagonizers as only a bit irritating is a misrepresentation. These men were, at best, printing lies and, at worst, inciting murder, torture, arson and rape with the lies they printed. It's not difficult to do research and find out more history. I have seen some of the articles. I have no doubt that the reporter and editors knew that Missourians were doing more than just "antagonizing" and "driving" members. Whether this was a deliberate oversight or not would be interesting to know--I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, personally. But in leaving out key points that would change the representation of a man's character completely, those responsible were showing poor ethics, or at least poor researching techniques.
3) Central tenets of Mormonism seem confusing--even literally incredible--to those outside the faith. An angel named Moroni? "Plural" marriage? See #1. Are you kidding me? Plural marriage as a central tenet? If you are LDS and this doesn't irritate you, then, well... you are more Christlike than me. And I'm impressed. Bottom line: it's False. In a news source.
4) The church's early converts, many of whom learned about it from missionaries, were sometimes shocked when they met Smith in person. He was uneducated, he lost his temper, he enjoyed power.... Let's see, where to start? How about not including the fact that many of the "church's early converts" "were sometimes shocked when they met Smith in person" for completely opposite reasons--many claimed that just by looking at him they couldn't deny that he was a prophet of God. Often enemies intent on harming him even walked away at the sight of him, not being able to deny the power that he had over their hearts. Again, not giving both sides of the story is misrepresentation, although factual. Perhaps even worse about this passage is "he enjoyed power." How would the reporter know this? This is poorly stated. Joseph Smith hated power. His journals say it. He sought political power for reasons other than a desire to have it. Do your research. Remember, this is a news source.
5) To conclude the paragraph (mentioned in #4) explaining many things that early converts didn't like about Joseph Smith (and also interviewing a member of the Community of Christ), the reporter decided to include: By the end of his life, he had accrued some 30 wives, massive debt and hundreds of enemies. "I never told you I was perfect," he told his followers. "But there is no error in the revelations which I have taught." Again, though not necessarily false, the ordering of these sentences does more damage than falsity could. This is a powerful statement by Joseph Smith, but to place it here makes it sound like he's apologizing for making enemies and practicing polygamy. He never apologized for these things. He never said "In spite of my mistakes in practicing polygamy, my message is true." He practiced polygamy because he believed that God had commanded him to. According to him, it wasn't because he was giving in to his base desires to have sex with lots of women (as was and continues to be claimed by countless critics). He never apologized for it. This sounds like he is. Misrepresentation through the ordering of specific sentences. In a news source. Brilliant.
6) "Decades of serious and honest scholarship have failed to uncover credible evidence that these Book of Mormon civilizations ever existed," he wrote. This is a quote by a historian that scientifically has proven that Native Americans are descendants of Asians. As we all know, you can use science to prove just about anything, and our society usually does. I have no doubt that many Native Americans are descendants of Asians. Asia is a big continent. That could mean anything. The fact that the reporter doesn't include that many historians have found the exact opposite as this guy, again, is a misrepresentation of the facts. Much credible evidence, despite what this man says, has been found and continues to be found. Read almost anything by Hugh Nibley on the subject of the ancient peoples of the Americas, and you will doubtless find his research completely credible. Do the research behind the things that he says if you don't want to take his word for it. You will be surprised what you find. To include this in the report with no rebuttal is, again, poor ethics.
7) While LDS scholars, of course, reject that conclusion, some are re-examining common theories about the Book of Mormon's geography, suggesting that it takes place near an isthmus in southern Mexico instead of across the Western Hemisphere, as many readers previously assumed. This was included immediately following #6. Again, the placement of this sentence gives the impression that "LDS scholars" "are re-examining" their theories because of science like this historian presented. In fact, it gives the impression that they're re-examining their theories exactly because of this historian's science. While this may be factual, that some LDS scholars are scrambling to prove stuff because this guy said something, I doubt that many are. There is just as much historical evidence to disprove this historian as there is to support him. LDS scholars know this, and most probably agree with him in his assessment of Asian decent among Native Americans, but disagree with his assessment of Book of Mormon historical sites.
8) The church is likely always to be more comfortable with orthodoxy than with inquiry, and this year's celebrations won't bring the unsolicited airing of dirty laundry (a church-sponsored art exhibit about Smith made no mention of his polygamy, for example). Is it physically impossible to mention Joseph Smith's name without mentioning polygamy? Fo r reporters it appears to be, but the Church is actually having the gall to try. To hold an exhibit about Joseph Smith without mentioning polygamy? The nerve! Can you believe that?!? That would be like holding an exhibit on President Clinton and not mentioning that he lived in Arkansas! In the whole scheme of the life of Joseph Smith, polygamy was not a defining characteristic. Even worse about this statement is calling polygamy "dirty laundry" (see #5). Members of the LDS Church should not be ashamed of this. It's a fact, we believe that God commanded it, and therefore it was correct. It was not a mistake. It was not dirty laundry. It was a commandment, and Joseph Smith followed it against his own will. Read his journals. Read the journals of those who knew him. The Church does not, and its members should not consider polygamy "dirty laundry." This is an opinion included in a straight news article. Poor ethics.
So as not to have a whole new item devoted to the same problem, I will just mention here that later in the paragraph it is mentioned that an LDS historian and professor is publishing a book and giving a series of lectures about Joseph Smith. Some LDS leaders apparently attended the lectures. The report said, "I ran the risk of making them bridle at me," he says. "But they liked the talks. And that leads me to believe that we don't have to bury our stuff anymore. We're able to deal with the problems and accept them." That's great. I'm sure his lectures were good. But to place this at the end of the paragraph it's in makes it sound like he's calling polygamy a problem again. If he is, I believe he's mistaken. But he doesn't say that here, and it makes more sense to me that the reporter is putting it here assuming that he's calling polygamy a problem. It wasn't a problem the way in which it is presented here.
9) Though the LDS Church stands by polygamy as a divine--albeit revoked--revelation.... Again, factual. But one cannot deny that the placement and wording of the phrase "albeit revoked" appears sarcastic. It was a divine revelation. It was revoked. That is true. But the writing seems sarcastic, as if to discredit the belief and say "if it's so divine, why was it revoked." Though you may not have interpreted it that way, it is easily interpreted it as such. Many people, no doubt, have. It is the responsibility of the reporter to remain neutral.
10) In Utah after Smith's death, polygamy was practiced openly: at its height, at least 25 percent of adults in some communities were members of polygamous households. Totally factual, as far as I know. It would be more ethical, because your article is about the Mormon Church and not small Utah communities, to also include the fact that the % of overall church members that practiced polygamy was much smaller. Not a big deal, just an issue.
11) However, LDS doctrine holds that some polygamist marriages will exist in the celestial kingdom, the highest tier of heaven. False. The President of the LDS Church is the only one authorized to set forth church doctrine, as church doctrine states. A President of the Church has not taught that. Therefore, this is not LDS doctrine, as far as I know. If anyone knows of a President of the Church saying this in a reputable source, let me know. Members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles do not set forth doctrine for the Church. Never have, regardless of book titles or the way in which they speak. Only the President can do so and ever has.
12) "I am devastated when people say I am not a Christian, particularly when generally that means I am not a fourth-century Christian," says Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. This just deserves specific praise. For the reporter to include this in a paragraph that also has quotes about Mormons not being Christian is good reporting. It's balanced. It shows both sides of this story. And it's a reputable source. Kudos for including this.
13) Yet something made people leave their homes to follow him, to endure persecution and risk death. This is not a big deal, and you will probably think me ridiculous for taking issue with this--you're probably right. But given the other misrepresentations in the article, I am now inclined to become nitpicky. People didn't just risk death for the prophet Joseph and the Church he founded, they actually died. Thousands were murdered and raped. They weren't just risking anything--they were victims.
14) But his most meaningful contribution was as "prophet, revelator and seer," as he called himself.... This is the final blow for newsweek. The epitome of why newsweek cannot be considered a news source. Again, same issues, so I will try to keep it succinct. It's factual, he did call himself that--by establishing that he was a prophet and that a prophet is a seer and a revelator also. But this paints him as an egomaniac. It would have been more representative to say "as his followers call him," or "as his followers believe him to be," or "as LDS doctrine states." Whether he was an egomaniac or not is not a proven fact. He could have been, according to the world. He may not have been. This is an opinion. In my view, it's a bad one. This is a misrepresentation of a man's character, painting him as something he might not have been. Reporters cannot base things on "might."
The reporter is a former BYU student. I do not know if she is a member of the LDS Church. Although I am grateful for her having pitched the idea to her editors and for all of the publicity the Church is getting because of this report, having gone to BYU, she should have known better on many of these issues.
So here's the conclusion: the media are biased. Perhaps more importantly, so are you. So am I. Why is it such a surprise and a salient issue that reporters are biased? Everyone has biases, and everyone makes decisions based on those biases. Where I have problems are where media members claim that they put their biases aside because of their job to "shine light on dark corners of society." I do not doubt that they try, and that they succeed a lot of the time. But nobody can keep biases out of their decision making all the time. It is folly to think that we can. The problem with the media in general is that most of them have the same biases, so they come to believe that all of America has these same biases. This explains why the media is always so amazed when conservative people and issues get voted for. They don't see how it's possible, because everyone with whom they associate didn't vote in that way. It's groupthink, and it's dangerous. I'd rather give people the benefit of the doubt and say that they say and do things because they sincerely believe that the society in which they live feels the same way than to believe that they have biases and they are intentionally trying to influence people through the guise of truth. I don't believe the latter. I believe in the sincerity of people, even those in the news business. They are just misguided.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Unemployed
I quit. My last day at Occupation is Friday. This mainly has to do with school, as the 3 tests I've taken so far this semester were all Cs. I'm going to be applying to graduate school in Oregon at the beginning of next semester (probably), so this semester's grades are really important--and I've got a few pretty intense courses right now. So I quit! Now for the real feat: actually studying with the extra time I have.
It was a tough decision, as we will now have almost no income. My wife works on call and when she's working it will be about 10 bucks an hour and from home, so that'll be nice. But I've always wanted to provide at least a little bit for my family--I will be giving nothing. Beautiful JellaMama pointed out that by not working now, the theory is that I will get better grades--better grades means graduate school, graduate school means meeting future goals and providing better then.
So student loans here we come! And for coworkers who might be reading this and are aware of a developing situation at work that has been irritating me, that situation has very little to do with my departure. It really is grades--and happiness, I guess. Every day I leave work I do so in the worst of moods. I was hired to be an editor of English, not an editor of computer code. Although this does make me unhappy, quitting for academic reasons is a more valid excuse. So I'll stick with that one.
This shouldn't affect my blogging, except that I won't have work stories to post anymore. Oh well. I should still have a few minutes on campus now and then to post.
If anyone has spare moneys, I would like them.
It was a tough decision, as we will now have almost no income. My wife works on call and when she's working it will be about 10 bucks an hour and from home, so that'll be nice. But I've always wanted to provide at least a little bit for my family--I will be giving nothing. Beautiful JellaMama pointed out that by not working now, the theory is that I will get better grades--better grades means graduate school, graduate school means meeting future goals and providing better then.
So student loans here we come! And for coworkers who might be reading this and are aware of a developing situation at work that has been irritating me, that situation has very little to do with my departure. It really is grades--and happiness, I guess. Every day I leave work I do so in the worst of moods. I was hired to be an editor of English, not an editor of computer code. Although this does make me unhappy, quitting for academic reasons is a more valid excuse. So I'll stick with that one.
This shouldn't affect my blogging, except that I won't have work stories to post anymore. Oh well. I should still have a few minutes on campus now and then to post.
If anyone has spare moneys, I would like them.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Lessons Learned from the Best Weekend Ever
Not in chronological order.
1) French people who endure ridicule graciously and even fight back (friendlily, of course) are acceptable. Case in point: French EQ President says in sacrament meeting something to the effect of: "To keep the Sabbath day holy, we should be sure to be prepared for our meetings by reading the lessons ahead of time, and not make fun of French people." Perhaps you had to be there, but it was wonderful. That's one Frenchman that's on good standing with me.
2) If you give a talk about Visiting Teaching, don't announce your subject at the beginning of your talk. It was a wonderful talk, but you should have seen how many male heads dropped to be propped up on fists in that "I'm not listening and I wish my wife were rubbing my back right now, maybe this'll give her the hint" position.
3) I can put on a suit and tie (tied to the perfect length, by the way) and prepare an EQ lesson while driving to church. Praise be to Jella for helping me find something new about myself.
4) Tevye dancing to "If I were a rich man" is one of the best things that have ever been invented in this life. It's right up there with dark chocolate and babies. While we're on the subject, Gwen Stefani should be given three life sentences for what she's done to that song. In Shawshank. Being forced to wear an Andy Dufrane mask. She's pure evil.
5) Jella is a giant. To us, she hasn't grown much since the day she was born--we see her every day. But we spent Saturday night with some cousins who have a week-old girl who is basically the same size as Jella was. Apparently, Jella has grown to roughly the size of a small country.
6) Shrek 2 is much funnier than Shrek. This weekend I was reminded that as good as the first was, the second is much funnier. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Unless you are one who visits my blog, in which case it all cancels out and you are a wonderful person.
7) Newsweek is the devil. I have always disliked newsweek (it doesn't deserve capitalization or italicizination), despite having my picture in it as a small boy, because it's as if they don't even attempt to be truthful. Time at least tries. But this is possibly the worst yet: The Mormon Odyssey.
8) The Natural is not one of the five best sports movies ever, no matter what all of the Best Sports Movies of All Time Lists that Come Out Every Time a New Sports Movie is Released say. It's fine and the cinematography is just plain beautiful, but does not deserve to be put in the Top Five. My Top Nine, in order (unless I've forgotten about one, in which case you need to ask me why I didn't include it--even I make mistakes). May you forgive me for starting a list in the same format as the current list--I hope you don't get confused.
1) Field of Dreams (if you are a man that does not get teary-eyed in this movie then you should never procreate)
2) Miracle (the true story makes the movie amazing)
3) Hoosiers (don't give me race or "bad basketball action" issues with this one--those arguments don't hold water)
4) Tin Cup (partially because hometown hero Peter Jacobsen wins the Open in it)
5) Major League (would be number one if it were based on the Mariners)
6) Rudy (would be higher if it weren't Notre Dame)
7) Caddyshack (would be higher if it weren't for all the sex)
8) A League of Their Own (so high solely because of the line "There's no crying in baseball!")
9) For Love of the Game (If you have issues with my list based on this movie, you're right--the woman isn't that great, Kevin Costner always has some acting issues, and there's unnecessary sex in it--but he pitches a perfect game against the Yankees. Therefore, Top Nine.)
Why are there not ten, you ask? Because I can't decide on the tenth. There are too many okay ones to be in there. The Natural might even be in the conversation.
It's little lessons like these that make life meaningful. Enjoy your day.
1) French people who endure ridicule graciously and even fight back (friendlily, of course) are acceptable. Case in point: French EQ President says in sacrament meeting something to the effect of: "To keep the Sabbath day holy, we should be sure to be prepared for our meetings by reading the lessons ahead of time, and not make fun of French people." Perhaps you had to be there, but it was wonderful. That's one Frenchman that's on good standing with me.
2) If you give a talk about Visiting Teaching, don't announce your subject at the beginning of your talk. It was a wonderful talk, but you should have seen how many male heads dropped to be propped up on fists in that "I'm not listening and I wish my wife were rubbing my back right now, maybe this'll give her the hint" position.
3) I can put on a suit and tie (tied to the perfect length, by the way) and prepare an EQ lesson while driving to church. Praise be to Jella for helping me find something new about myself.
4) Tevye dancing to "If I were a rich man" is one of the best things that have ever been invented in this life. It's right up there with dark chocolate and babies. While we're on the subject, Gwen Stefani should be given three life sentences for what she's done to that song. In Shawshank. Being forced to wear an Andy Dufrane mask. She's pure evil.5) Jella is a giant. To us, she hasn't grown much since the day she was born--we see her every day. But we spent Saturday night with some cousins who have a week-old girl who is basically the same size as Jella was. Apparently, Jella has grown to roughly the size of a small country.
6) Shrek 2 is much funnier than Shrek. This weekend I was reminded that as good as the first was, the second is much funnier. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Unless you are one who visits my blog, in which case it all cancels out and you are a wonderful person.7) Newsweek is the devil. I have always disliked newsweek (it doesn't deserve capitalization or italicizination), despite having my picture in it as a small boy, because it's as if they don't even attempt to be truthful. Time at least tries. But this is possibly the worst yet: The Mormon Odyssey.
8) The Natural is not one of the five best sports movies ever, no matter what all of the Best Sports Movies of All Time Lists that Come Out Every Time a New Sports Movie is Released say. It's fine and the cinematography is just plain beautiful, but does not deserve to be put in the Top Five. My Top Nine, in order (unless I've forgotten about one, in which case you need to ask me why I didn't include it--even I make mistakes). May you forgive me for starting a list in the same format as the current list--I hope you don't get confused.
1) Field of Dreams (if you are a man that does not get teary-eyed in this movie then you should never procreate)
2) Miracle (the true story makes the movie amazing)3) Hoosiers (don't give me race or "bad basketball action" issues with this one--those arguments don't hold water)
4) Tin Cup (partially because hometown hero Peter Jacobsen wins the Open in it)
5) Major League (would be number one if it were based on the Mariners)
6) Rudy (would be higher if it weren't Notre Dame)
7) Caddyshack (would be higher if it weren't for all the sex)
8) A League of Their Own (so high solely because of the line "There's no crying in baseball!")
9) For Love of the Game (If you have issues with my list based on this movie, you're right--the woman isn't that great, Kevin Costner always has some acting issues, and there's unnecessary sex in it--but he pitches a perfect game against the Yankees. Therefore, Top Nine.)
Why are there not ten, you ask? Because I can't decide on the tenth. There are too many okay ones to be in there. The Natural might even be in the conversation.
It's little lessons like these that make life meaningful. Enjoy your day.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Back to as normal as I can be...
Some of you might have noticed some subtle changes to the aesthetic aspects of the blog. If so, well done. If not, I'm kind of worried about you. Anyway, I think I'm through fiddling with stuff, unless I can figure out how to do some wicked cool deal that would immediately give this blog the title "Greatest. Blog. Ever." However, I don't see it happening. So now that I'm through making it pretty, I hope to be back to my normal blogging self Monday. Great weekends all around!
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
New Albums Again
Just letting everyone know that under "Digital Photo Albums" in the right sidebar there are two new albums! I know, exciting. There are also 4 or 5 more pictures in Jella's album, a few more in the Sans Jella album, and LOTS in the other two. May you all find us good looking.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Both New and Improved!
So if you're a particularly astute observer, you might have noticed a few improvements in the sidebar to the right that I have been slowly implementing over the last week. Well... ta-da!
Digital Photo Albums
Finally! I figured out a way to post photo albums online (I know, but for me that was extraordinary)! This is, of course, for anyone who wishes to see the Beautiful Angel that is Jella from every possible angle in every possible situation, as well as somewhat less-important pictures of her pretty-darned-good-looking parents. The real reason it is here, however, is for family members back home who are apparently on a hunger strike until they are able to see more pictures of the Angel. This way they can even order prints if they want! I know, I'm even more brilliant than you all thought. Just click on the link, then click on the picture (don't worry about signing in), and enjoy. (Thumbnails are on the bottom of the page if you drag your mouse over them so that you don't have to click through all of the pictures one by one if you don't want to.) The pictures of Jella are in chronological order, roughly, so if you're not into the hospital puff-face pictures, then just skip to later in the album. The album of JellaMama and I is pretty sparse, I know, but it will improve shortly. The paintings of Finding Nemo characters were all by JellaMama while waiting "patiently" for the Munchkin's arrival. She's amazing.
Links
"Mormons Actually" takes you to the Web site of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I realize that most of my visitors are already members of the LDS Church, but after a previous post that was overflowing with sarcasm about LDS culture, I thought it a good idea to include a link to a site with actual truth about the faith.
"Blazer News" is a link to the Blazers' news Web site. Although you may not care about the team, I do. And it's my blog. So there.
"Addictingest Game Ever" is pretty self-explanatory. Download and enjoy. WARNING: Not for the short of time. It is like 24. You will become addicted.
"Can't Miss Homestar" is also self-explanatory. Hopefully you don't need a reminder to get your daily Strongbad E-mail fix. WARNING: Not for those born without a sense of humor.
BlogFriends
Now trust me on this one--visit all of these sites. I do a lot of research so that I can ensure my readers that from my blog they will only get links to the very finest in Bloggerton. Well, I generally just add whoever adds a link to my blog on theirs, but I figure that if they do so they should be rewarded for their good judgment with a space on mine--generally.
So enjoy the new Cooped Up! I hope to be making a face lift to the whole blog sometime soon, but I have to learn how first. So be anxious for that! I wish you all a wonderful day and hope that looking at pictures of Sweet Baby J will help you in that goal.
Digital Photo Albums
Finally! I figured out a way to post photo albums online (I know, but for me that was extraordinary)! This is, of course, for anyone who wishes to see the Beautiful Angel that is Jella from every possible angle in every possible situation, as well as somewhat less-important pictures of her pretty-darned-good-looking parents. The real reason it is here, however, is for family members back home who are apparently on a hunger strike until they are able to see more pictures of the Angel. This way they can even order prints if they want! I know, I'm even more brilliant than you all thought. Just click on the link, then click on the picture (don't worry about signing in), and enjoy. (Thumbnails are on the bottom of the page if you drag your mouse over them so that you don't have to click through all of the pictures one by one if you don't want to.) The pictures of Jella are in chronological order, roughly, so if you're not into the hospital puff-face pictures, then just skip to later in the album. The album of JellaMama and I is pretty sparse, I know, but it will improve shortly. The paintings of Finding Nemo characters were all by JellaMama while waiting "patiently" for the Munchkin's arrival. She's amazing.
Links
"Mormons Actually" takes you to the Web site of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I realize that most of my visitors are already members of the LDS Church, but after a previous post that was overflowing with sarcasm about LDS culture, I thought it a good idea to include a link to a site with actual truth about the faith.
"Blazer News" is a link to the Blazers' news Web site. Although you may not care about the team, I do. And it's my blog. So there.
"Addictingest Game Ever" is pretty self-explanatory. Download and enjoy. WARNING: Not for the short of time. It is like 24. You will become addicted.
"Can't Miss Homestar" is also self-explanatory. Hopefully you don't need a reminder to get your daily Strongbad E-mail fix. WARNING: Not for those born without a sense of humor.
BlogFriends
Now trust me on this one--visit all of these sites. I do a lot of research so that I can ensure my readers that from my blog they will only get links to the very finest in Bloggerton. Well, I generally just add whoever adds a link to my blog on theirs, but I figure that if they do so they should be rewarded for their good judgment with a space on mine--generally.
So enjoy the new Cooped Up! I hope to be making a face lift to the whole blog sometime soon, but I have to learn how first. So be anxious for that! I wish you all a wonderful day and hope that looking at pictures of Sweet Baby J will help you in that goal.
Great Jokes
As we visited with our friends up in Salt Lake on Friday night I was reminded of his favorite joke. And because my favorite joke got such an overwhelming response last time, I thought I would tell his.
So there are two guys walking through the desert, and they happen upon a hole that they can't see the bottom of. So one says to the other, "Let's see how deep it goes."
So they pick up a small rock, and toss it in. No sound. So they get a really big rock, heft it over to the hole, and toss it in. Again, no sound.
So they come across a railroad tie. Now I don't know if any of you have ever been up close and personal with a railroad tie, but they're huge. Anyway, so they toss it down the hole.
And then, out of nowhere a goat comes running and jumps in the hole! "Wow. That was really weird," one says to the other.
A short time later a desert farmer (he grows sand or something) comes walking up and says, "Have you guys seen my goat?"
"Oh, no," says one guy. "It was really strange. I don't know how to tell you this, sir, but your goat just came running out of nowhere and jumped in this hole."
"But that's impossible," says the farmer. "I had him tied to a railroad tie!"
Oh man. Good stuff. Here's his wife's joke. Also great.
How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Let's ride bikes!
So there are two guys walking through the desert, and they happen upon a hole that they can't see the bottom of. So one says to the other, "Let's see how deep it goes."
So they pick up a small rock, and toss it in. No sound. So they get a really big rock, heft it over to the hole, and toss it in. Again, no sound.
So they come across a railroad tie. Now I don't know if any of you have ever been up close and personal with a railroad tie, but they're huge. Anyway, so they toss it down the hole.
And then, out of nowhere a goat comes running and jumps in the hole! "Wow. That was really weird," one says to the other.
A short time later a desert farmer (he grows sand or something) comes walking up and says, "Have you guys seen my goat?"
"Oh, no," says one guy. "It was really strange. I don't know how to tell you this, sir, but your goat just came running out of nowhere and jumped in this hole."
"But that's impossible," says the farmer. "I had him tied to a railroad tie!"
Oh man. Good stuff. Here's his wife's joke. Also great.
How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Let's ride bikes!
Monday, October 03, 2005
Best. Weekend. Ever.
What a fabulous weekend! Just what I needed to maintain my love for family and religion while possibly even weakening my apathy for work and school. So here's a recap!
Friday evening I accompanied JellaMama to her mission reunion up in Salt Lake, and enjoyed showing off Jella (although most of the RMs there just found it extremely weird that JM had a baby and avoided us--I loved it). It was a potluck and we didn't bring anything, so JM didn't eat anything. I had three plates (of food). We left early and visited some friends up in Salt Lake that we never see and had a fabulous time. They're pretty much the coolest couple in the world, despite the fact that they're both engineers. They still know how to converse with the human world, and pretty darn well even. I wish they lived closer. Sigh. Good. Times.
Saturday morning watched Conference, which was wonderful. Immediately after the morning session was over we left for Salt Lake again because we had tickets to the afternoon session. Yippee! I have never seen Conference in person, so I was really excited. JM knew that it would be a huge hassle to get Jella there and everything, but she accepted the tickets because she knew how excited I'd be. What a woman. Anyway, as I was about to drop her off to go get our seats, we decided to actually look at the tickets: "Children under 8 not admitted." I had actually heard that before, but apparently didn't think that it applied to Jella. Since we were all the way up there, we decided to listen to the session from a lawn on Temple Square, where I heard Elder Holland's superb talk. Probably my favorite of the weekend, although it had some stiff competition from Elder Nelson's, President Hinckley's Sunday morning Forgiveness talk, and Elder Bednar's Priesthood Session talk. Anyway, have any of you been to Conference live? I had heard about all of the madness outside the conference center with the Anti-Mormons in full force, but it was different up close. I would really like to talk one-on-one with a rational person of that scene, but I find that they are hard to come by. I would like to speak with them to find out what their purpose is. I don't believe that it possibly can be to change minds or to convert, so what would the purpose be? If their purpose is to convert, I would like to give them a few suggestions: screaming obscenities about men that we all feel a deep love and admiration for doesn't win any hearts. I could teach them the commitment pattern. It might actually do the Kingdom a little harm as they might have some success, but at least then I wouldn't have to listen to the offensive crap they're spewing. I would repeat it, but I wont. It was somewhat humbling however to enter the walls of Temple Square and not hear any of the outside madness--only the singing of The Choir and the sound of peace. So that was nice. As was laying on the grass with my little family looking at the temple and hearing the words of prophets. Could it get better?
Yes! Afterwards, we stopped by the Church Museum across the street. We saw some newly acquired Rembrandt etchings there, and although I wouldn't generally be a huge fan of drawings by some famous old guy, these were truly amazing. I highly recommend visiting the exhibit. Did you know that Rembrandt died with only one possession: his bible? He made art at a time when the Catholic Church didn't commission it, and therefore made all of his biblical art for free. So all of the etchings were completely free of Catholic or Sectarian influence (unlike Michelangelo and others)--just his own impressions after reading scripture. Maybe because of this, even just etchings had a very different spirit about them. We also walked through the new Joseph Smith exhibit and were again extremely touched. It was a wonderful feeling to have the Spirit confirm that the truth about Joseph Smith was being spoken inside those walls--not by the people with picket signs outside.
Went to Priesthood Session at the Marriott Center that evening, and find it funny how few men can take up so many seats in that stadium. If it were a Relief Society broadcast, all the seats in one section would be taken up before moving to another one. For the Priesthood Session, all sections were populated, and most men took up more than one seat. Good stuff. Afterwards, Jella, JM and I had my parents' gift card treat us to late never-ending pasta bowls at Olive Garden. We were there, and we were family. So I guess they're right. Nothing interesting to say about that, just another detail to show that this weekend was the best. Ever. To top the day off, Jella slept for 7 hours that night. Pure bliss.
Sunday morning another pair of good friends came over to watch the session with us. They will also be one of the coolest couples ever once they're married in two weeks. The session was amazing, of course. Occupation's commercials between sessions, however, were not. I was sorely disappointed after hearing so much about them. Jella Mama also continued her long tradition of making cinnamon rolls (that take a good portion of the day to make) on Conference Weekend, much to the delight of all of our neighbors. And me.
I have a question for you. Here's a scenario for background: Between sessions, you might have seen a little video narration of a book about the walnut tree in President Hinckley's back yard that was turned into the pulpit in the Conference center. It was a cute little thing, and is an extremely touching story. I had good feelings about the whole deal until I saw the end credits, and who narrated it. I saw that it was an administrator here at Occupation. I have never met this administrator. He or she seems like a good human being. So why did I not like the little ditty anymore once I saw that he or she narrated it? Hmm... I'll let you know if I figure it out.
The Giant came over again today to do his laundry. I heard that he went inside the dryer to look for a sock and found a half-goat thing named Tumnus. That must have been cool.
Bottom line is, that was the best weekend ever! Conference impressions?
Friday evening I accompanied JellaMama to her mission reunion up in Salt Lake, and enjoyed showing off Jella (although most of the RMs there just found it extremely weird that JM had a baby and avoided us--I loved it). It was a potluck and we didn't bring anything, so JM didn't eat anything. I had three plates (of food). We left early and visited some friends up in Salt Lake that we never see and had a fabulous time. They're pretty much the coolest couple in the world, despite the fact that they're both engineers. They still know how to converse with the human world, and pretty darn well even. I wish they lived closer. Sigh. Good. Times.
Saturday morning watched Conference, which was wonderful. Immediately after the morning session was over we left for Salt Lake again because we had tickets to the afternoon session. Yippee! I have never seen Conference in person, so I was really excited. JM knew that it would be a huge hassle to get Jella there and everything, but she accepted the tickets because she knew how excited I'd be. What a woman. Anyway, as I was about to drop her off to go get our seats, we decided to actually look at the tickets: "Children under 8 not admitted." I had actually heard that before, but apparently didn't think that it applied to Jella. Since we were all the way up there, we decided to listen to the session from a lawn on Temple Square, where I heard Elder Holland's superb talk. Probably my favorite of the weekend, although it had some stiff competition from Elder Nelson's, President Hinckley's Sunday morning Forgiveness talk, and Elder Bednar's Priesthood Session talk. Anyway, have any of you been to Conference live? I had heard about all of the madness outside the conference center with the Anti-Mormons in full force, but it was different up close. I would really like to talk one-on-one with a rational person of that scene, but I find that they are hard to come by. I would like to speak with them to find out what their purpose is. I don't believe that it possibly can be to change minds or to convert, so what would the purpose be? If their purpose is to convert, I would like to give them a few suggestions: screaming obscenities about men that we all feel a deep love and admiration for doesn't win any hearts. I could teach them the commitment pattern. It might actually do the Kingdom a little harm as they might have some success, but at least then I wouldn't have to listen to the offensive crap they're spewing. I would repeat it, but I wont. It was somewhat humbling however to enter the walls of Temple Square and not hear any of the outside madness--only the singing of The Choir and the sound of peace. So that was nice. As was laying on the grass with my little family looking at the temple and hearing the words of prophets. Could it get better?
Yes! Afterwards, we stopped by the Church Museum across the street. We saw some newly acquired Rembrandt etchings there, and although I wouldn't generally be a huge fan of drawings by some famous old guy, these were truly amazing. I highly recommend visiting the exhibit. Did you know that Rembrandt died with only one possession: his bible? He made art at a time when the Catholic Church didn't commission it, and therefore made all of his biblical art for free. So all of the etchings were completely free of Catholic or Sectarian influence (unlike Michelangelo and others)--just his own impressions after reading scripture. Maybe because of this, even just etchings had a very different spirit about them. We also walked through the new Joseph Smith exhibit and were again extremely touched. It was a wonderful feeling to have the Spirit confirm that the truth about Joseph Smith was being spoken inside those walls--not by the people with picket signs outside.
Went to Priesthood Session at the Marriott Center that evening, and find it funny how few men can take up so many seats in that stadium. If it were a Relief Society broadcast, all the seats in one section would be taken up before moving to another one. For the Priesthood Session, all sections were populated, and most men took up more than one seat. Good stuff. Afterwards, Jella, JM and I had my parents' gift card treat us to late never-ending pasta bowls at Olive Garden. We were there, and we were family. So I guess they're right. Nothing interesting to say about that, just another detail to show that this weekend was the best. Ever. To top the day off, Jella slept for 7 hours that night. Pure bliss.Sunday morning another pair of good friends came over to watch the session with us. They will also be one of the coolest couples ever once they're married in two weeks. The session was amazing, of course. Occupation's commercials between sessions, however, were not. I was sorely disappointed after hearing so much about them. Jella Mama also continued her long tradition of making cinnamon rolls (that take a good portion of the day to make) on Conference Weekend, much to the delight of all of our neighbors. And me.
I have a question for you. Here's a scenario for background: Between sessions, you might have seen a little video narration of a book about the walnut tree in President Hinckley's back yard that was turned into the pulpit in the Conference center. It was a cute little thing, and is an extremely touching story. I had good feelings about the whole deal until I saw the end credits, and who narrated it. I saw that it was an administrator here at Occupation. I have never met this administrator. He or she seems like a good human being. So why did I not like the little ditty anymore once I saw that he or she narrated it? Hmm... I'll let you know if I figure it out.
The Giant came over again today to do his laundry. I heard that he went inside the dryer to look for a sock and found a half-goat thing named Tumnus. That must have been cool.Bottom line is, that was the best weekend ever! Conference impressions?
Friday, September 30, 2005
Red's Photography
In talking with a coworker, I was reminded that Red used to spend a lot of time taking pictures. His photography is generally of beautiful nature scenes in Oregon and Utah, sometimes enhanced a bit with a computer. He has his own distinct style, which you'll see. Anyway, here's one of my favorites. Click on the picture to see more like it. They make great computer desktops--I'm sure he'd say they make good wall decorations so that you'd buy prints from him.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Mormons and Dirty Old Women
You might have heard of the new movie American Mormon. Basically, two guys went around to different cities around the country and asked people what they knew about Mormons. I found a list of some of the things they heard, and have included some of my favorites--with, of course, some of my own brilliant commentary (in italics).DISCLAIMER: If you are not LDS or are not extremely familiar with the LDS Church or the culture of its members, then proceed with caution. This is humor--if you have actual questions about the Church or anything you read here, feel free to ask in the comments section or click on the LDS Church link in the right sidebar. Now, on to the fun.
Q: What do you know about Utah?
"I had saw the church. I love that golden bugle they have, (the) bugle boy on top of the church."
I have such a hard time criticizing grammar and the uselessness of comments when they're just so darn nice!
"We couldn't find a bottle of wine anywhere."
Why were you looking for one? Sinner!
"I don't know, something about lizard people."
That's the only way the people could survive in a desert wasteland such as this.
Q: What do you know about the Mormons?
"What do I know about Mormons? Oh, enough."
Apparently not if you don't want to know more!
"Crazy religious group."
First intelligent comment yet.
"It's close to Christian, isn't it?"
I think that's right--where is Christian again? Isn't that near Tremonton?
"Oh, I'd rather not talk about that."
And we don't want you to talk about subjects that are uncomfortable for you. Unless, of course, two nicely dressed young men with nametags knock on your door. I highly suggest that you talk to them.
Q: If you had one piece of advice for Mormons, what would it be?
"Become a Catholic."
Touche.
Q: What are Mormons like?
"I think a while ago they couldn't drink caffeine, until they bought Pepsi and cola companies. Now you can drink it."
A while ago we couldn't walk either. Then we bought Nike. Thank goodness, I was getting really tired of crawling everywhere.
"They're very peppy."
It's all of the newly-purchased caffeinated beverages.
"They have their own Bible, I know that."
Everyone should own at least one.
"When I think of Mormons I think of BYU, all the people there. Clean cut guys."
Yeah, we're sexy.
"They try to stay to the old ways. Like They're not into the big technology. They try to stick to the way they used to do things. They certainly don't have computers or phones. I imagine they're still churning butter. Just kind of riding in their wagon to the neighbors'."
I never did understand the confusion with the Amish. However, there is nothing better than freshly churned butter straight from the barrel. Just the way mom used to make it.
Q: What do they look like?
"I think they're blond and very waspy."
Those are Swedes.
"They had those scarf things on their head, very plain, no makeup."
I don't know about you, but wearing a scarf on the head sounds exciting to me--anything but plain.
"They're usually dressed in dark pants and a white shirt. And a backpack."
The backpack is to keep all of our bugles, caffeinated beverages, and bibles.
"Sounds like white Jehovah's Witnesses."
What do you say to this?
"I know you're not supposed to drink. I don't think dancing is good. They outlawed dancing."
Great news! Now I have an excuse to hate dancing!
"They got to be in early on Saturday night."
That's so we can get an early start on the butter-churning.
"You can't go on 'The Real World.' That girl got kicked out of Brigham Young."
That wasn't because she was Mormon. That's because she was an idiot. We don't like idiots here at BYU.
"They can't drink, smoke, chew or chase dirty old women. They are allowed to gamble."
Ha! My personal favorite. Aside from the obvious questions, I want to know if we're allowed to chew dirty young women or if it's just restricted to the dirty elderly ones.
"From what I've seen of Mormons they've just got too much superstition if you ask me. From what I've seen, they seem to think everything is evil -- makeup and certain dressing. They're very insecure about the outside world."
Duh. Everything is evil.
"They believe they should have a lot of children so they can save their souls. Every baby not born to a Mormon family is like condemned forever."
I can't argue with logic!
"We have heard that they have a kind of coming-of-age celebration where they can kind of let loose for a while and see what they think. Like a Mardi Gras of sorts. Where're they're allowed to let their hair down and see how the other half lives. I was watching it on the Discovery Channel."
I can't argue with the Discovery Channel!
"I know they believe in God, but I think they got the Bible a little mixed up."
At least we have our own.
"Don't they believe something weird, like only 140 people can get into heaven or something?"
We believe in lots of weird stuff. That's just the beginning!
"As a Catholic, we confess to a priest. They stand up and confess to each other. In a big meeting that lasted forever."
Please! Just bear testimony of the gospel, people!!!"
"They believe that after you die, if you're a Mormon, you become like ruler of your own little planet or your old little world. Yeah."
I call Saturn!
"I like the fact that you guys are clean cut and have a good reputation, but you guys need to do a little more outreach. Let people know who you are."
I have an idea. Let's have 60,000 young, conspicuously dressed men and women travel the world just to tell people about us! I'm a genius!
Well, that's enough technology for me! I'm gonna hop on my wagon, head down to Vegas, let my hair down and get crazy with some cola baby!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Be sure to send this to 100 people or you'll die.
I got one of those mass forwards the other day from CoopSister--the kind that asks a billion questions and you are supposed to fill in your own answers. I'd complain, but it's from my sister and, besides the fact that she reads my blog (supposedly), I always love hearing from her. Thought it might be cool to post my answers to this. We'll see.
1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES?
Blue--could a question be more useless?
2. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW?
Book of Mormon (though not as much as I should), and textbooks (though not as much as I should). Reading for pleasure went out the window a long time ago. Actually, I rarely find pleasure in reading anyway. Unless it's the Chronicles of Narnia series. Or Sports Illustrated. I can't get enough of those.
3. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
American flag. I stole it from my friend Pops. Or it could have been Red's. It matters not. It's mine now.
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Sequence, but basically anything my wife will play with me. Except Monopoly. We don't play Monopoly. Through years of contentious games, JM's dad has conditioned her to think that anyone who wants to trade properties is trying to screw her over. So we don't play.
5. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS?
Body odor. Other people's anyway. I don't really mind mine. Yeah, that's gross.
6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING?
NNNOOOO!!!
7. FAVORITE COLOR:
Blue
8. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR:
Depends on the situation. If it's on a car, white. If it's on men's clothing, pink. It all depends.
9. HOW MANY RINGS until YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
I was wrong about the plates question. This question is worse.
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
With all of the trouble we had with naming our current child, do you think we have any idea what to do in the future? Plus, even thinking about another child when memories of the pregnancy and birth are still fresh is making me queasy. In fact... I'll be right back.
11. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Well, since chocolate is the only choice with taste, I'll go with chocolate. Dark is preferable.
12. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Yes, in fact I do. If I had a lot of money it would be a huge temptation to buy some really nice cars and go flyin' around. But that is contingent on having a lot of money, so we should have nothing to worry about.
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
If anyone does, at this age, they should lose their sleeping privileges. (No offense to anyone that does. [snicker])
14. DO YOU LIKE THUNDERSTORMS:
Heck yeah, baby! Brasil had amazing storms. I miss those.
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
1979 Volkswagen Rabbit--Mexico Beige. Oh, that baby was sweet. It was tricked out--complete with an empty bottle of Jolt (yeah, I was a rebel) to stuff under the emergency brake to keep it up. Broke my heart when he died--his name was Nacho. [sniff]
16. SIGN?
I've always really liked the "Slow Children Playing" one. That's a cool sign.
17. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
I didn't know that cutting off the stems was something that people do until my wife started doing it. I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "Cutting off the stems." It was quite a time. I, on the other hand, eat it all--cooked or raw. When I was a kid I would pretend that they were trees and I was a giant. I don't do that much anymore.
18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE?
My dream job would be to be a sports columnist for a newspaper. BIG salary, write one article per week--of opinion, no less--and be required to watch sports? I don't think it'd get better than that, aside from actually playing sports for a living. Or being a musician, except that doesn't pay as well. Okay, apparently I have a few dream jobs.
19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Lightening. It's the color of the Oregon Ducks' football uniforms. Nike says that they actually invented a color and called it lightening. It looks like they're a bunch of highlighters running around. That would be really cool as hair.
20. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
Depends on what's in the glass. If we're talking my daughter's future? Half full! If we're talking the future of Hillary Clinton's political career? It's gotta be half empty. Which would make it half full for me.
21. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?
Braveheart (although I'm not admitting to having seen it), Pirates of the Caribbean, Return to Me, Finding Nemo, etc.
22. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
The right keys, the left keys, the up and down keys, I use 'em all, baby! Except for that crazy Scroll Lock--what does that do, anyway? (Please, if you know, don't tell me.)
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
JellaMama's plastic container of socks, two folding chairs, a tent, blankets, and, most likely, some chapstick.
24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?
12
25. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
I will literally watch and get into any sport except for figure skating. I have been known to watch Australian Rules Football matches at three in the morning and be cheering. I have not been known to watch figure skating at any time. Or cheer for it. Ever.
26. YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST INTENSE PAIN?
Can a pain be big? I guess if a really fat guy feels pain all over his body that would be a big pain. But if we're talking my single most intense pain, worms on the mission. (The inside kind, not earthworms. They don't bite or anything.) Or getting knocked in the junk playing ball or something. Either way, intense pain, even if only for a short time--nothing compared to giving birth, so don't jump on me for that.
27. PERSON MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Thank goodness this is on my blog and not E-mailed... you don't have to! Or feel bad for not doing so.
28. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
CoopSister said, "Awe, so easy...Coops!" (Her daughter, CoopNiece, calls me "Coopsie," by the way, but CoopSister swears she doesn't know where that came from.) This'll show her! Of course, it could have been reverse psychology....
30. HAMBURGER OR HOT DOG?
Both! However, nothing beats a burger at Stanich's. If you ever go to Portland, ask someone how to get there and get a Special and root beer. You'll think you've died and gone to heaven. However, with all of the grease, you might actually die. Hopefully you'll go to heaven.
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
I like Oregano, Basil, or good old salt and pepper. Oh, you said "season," not "seasoning?" Oh. Then that would be basketball season. Although college football season is right there. And baseball season gives them all a run for their money if the Mariners are good.
32. THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN?
Oregon, and Rio de Janeiro, Brasil. The natural beauty of those two places is unmatched.
33. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW?
A slide show of Sweet Baby J, JellaMama, and others. The computer knows better than to put up pictures of me too often.
34. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
How fast does the food have to be? Cafe Rio is spectacular, as is the aforementioned Stanich's. There's also an Escape from New York Pizza in Portland that can't be beat. However, if we're just talking really fast food, McDonald's fries are the best, and Burger King's burgers are the best.
35. YOUR BIRTH NAME?
We don't do that here. We're too good for birth names.
1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES?
Blue--could a question be more useless?
2. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW?Book of Mormon (though not as much as I should), and textbooks (though not as much as I should). Reading for pleasure went out the window a long time ago. Actually, I rarely find pleasure in reading anyway. Unless it's the Chronicles of Narnia series. Or Sports Illustrated. I can't get enough of those.
3. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
American flag. I stole it from my friend Pops. Or it could have been Red's. It matters not. It's mine now.
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Sequence, but basically anything my wife will play with me. Except Monopoly. We don't play Monopoly. Through years of contentious games, JM's dad has conditioned her to think that anyone who wants to trade properties is trying to screw her over. So we don't play.
5. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS?
Body odor. Other people's anyway. I don't really mind mine. Yeah, that's gross.
6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING?
NNNOOOO!!!
7. FAVORITE COLOR:
Blue
8. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR:Depends on the situation. If it's on a car, white. If it's on men's clothing, pink. It all depends.
9. HOW MANY RINGS until YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
I was wrong about the plates question. This question is worse.
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
With all of the trouble we had with naming our current child, do you think we have any idea what to do in the future? Plus, even thinking about another child when memories of the pregnancy and birth are still fresh is making me queasy. In fact... I'll be right back.
11. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Well, since chocolate is the only choice with taste, I'll go with chocolate. Dark is preferable.
12. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Yes, in fact I do. If I had a lot of money it would be a huge temptation to buy some really nice cars and go flyin' around. But that is contingent on having a lot of money, so we should have nothing to worry about.
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
If anyone does, at this age, they should lose their sleeping privileges. (No offense to anyone that does. [snicker])
14. DO YOU LIKE THUNDERSTORMS:
Heck yeah, baby! Brasil had amazing storms. I miss those.
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
1979 Volkswagen Rabbit--Mexico Beige. Oh, that baby was sweet. It was tricked out--complete with an empty bottle of Jolt (yeah, I was a rebel) to stuff under the emergency brake to keep it up. Broke my heart when he died--his name was Nacho. [sniff]
16. SIGN?I've always really liked the "Slow Children Playing" one. That's a cool sign.
17. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
I didn't know that cutting off the stems was something that people do until my wife started doing it. I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "Cutting off the stems." It was quite a time. I, on the other hand, eat it all--cooked or raw. When I was a kid I would pretend that they were trees and I was a giant. I don't do that much anymore.
18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE?
My dream job would be to be a sports columnist for a newspaper. BIG salary, write one article per week--of opinion, no less--and be required to watch sports? I don't think it'd get better than that, aside from actually playing sports for a living. Or being a musician, except that doesn't pay as well. Okay, apparently I have a few dream jobs.
19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Lightening. It's the color of the Oregon Ducks' football uniforms. Nike says that they actually invented a color and called it lightening. It looks like they're a bunch of highlighters running around. That would be really cool as hair.
20. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
Depends on what's in the glass. If we're talking my daughter's future? Half full! If we're talking the future of Hillary Clinton's political career? It's gotta be half empty. Which would make it half full for me.
21. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?Braveheart (although I'm not admitting to having seen it), Pirates of the Caribbean, Return to Me, Finding Nemo, etc.
22. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
The right keys, the left keys, the up and down keys, I use 'em all, baby! Except for that crazy Scroll Lock--what does that do, anyway? (Please, if you know, don't tell me.)
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
JellaMama's plastic container of socks, two folding chairs, a tent, blankets, and, most likely, some chapstick.
24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?
12
25. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
I will literally watch and get into any sport except for figure skating. I have been known to watch Australian Rules Football matches at three in the morning and be cheering. I have not been known to watch figure skating at any time. Or cheer for it. Ever.
26. YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST INTENSE PAIN?
Can a pain be big? I guess if a really fat guy feels pain all over his body that would be a big pain. But if we're talking my single most intense pain, worms on the mission. (The inside kind, not earthworms. They don't bite or anything.) Or getting knocked in the junk playing ball or something. Either way, intense pain, even if only for a short time--nothing compared to giving birth, so don't jump on me for that.
27. PERSON MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Thank goodness this is on my blog and not E-mailed... you don't have to! Or feel bad for not doing so.
28. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
CoopSister said, "Awe, so easy...Coops!" (Her daughter, CoopNiece, calls me "Coopsie," by the way, but CoopSister swears she doesn't know where that came from.) This'll show her! Of course, it could have been reverse psychology....
30. HAMBURGER OR HOT DOG?
Both! However, nothing beats a burger at Stanich's. If you ever go to Portland, ask someone how to get there and get a Special and root beer. You'll think you've died and gone to heaven. However, with all of the grease, you might actually die. Hopefully you'll go to heaven.
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
I like Oregano, Basil, or good old salt and pepper. Oh, you said "season," not "seasoning?" Oh. Then that would be basketball season. Although college football season is right there. And baseball season gives them all a run for their money if the Mariners are good.
32. THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN?Oregon, and Rio de Janeiro, Brasil. The natural beauty of those two places is unmatched.
33. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW?
A slide show of Sweet Baby J, JellaMama, and others. The computer knows better than to put up pictures of me too often.
34. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
How fast does the food have to be? Cafe Rio is spectacular, as is the aforementioned Stanich's. There's also an Escape from New York Pizza in Portland that can't be beat. However, if we're just talking really fast food, McDonald's fries are the best, and Burger King's burgers are the best.
35. YOUR BIRTH NAME?
We don't do that here. We're too good for birth names.
Song of the Day Retired
Due to a problem with the server I used to get the songs of the day from, the songs of the day will no longer be posted. I know, that's heartbreaking to all. I'll try and figure out some amazing feature to take their place. Until then, I'll keep them over there. The links just won't work. It'll be like a joke. Ha.
Weekend Wrap-up
Welcome back me from a much-needed weekend in Oregon--where things actually grow. As always, it was fabulous to see family (and trees) again. Here's how the weekend went.Friday afternoon: Procrastinated packing as long as possible, which almost caused us to be late for the flight. Luckily, the flight was delayed 45 minutes so we were fine. So we didn't even get to abuse the pre-boarding privilege by arriving later and boarding earlier than everyone. Lame. We then taxied the runway for another 45 minutes, effectively irritating Jella (who was hungry but was waiting to be fed until we took off so that her head wouldn't explode), which causes JellaMama to attempt to rip the head off the co-pilot (she was going to leave the pilot's head attached so that we could still fly). They let her stay on the plane though because she only attempted to take the life of the co-pilot--and because she's really pretty. We finally take off, only to feel as though we were bouncing on the ground 'til we were past the Utah borders. That was, by far, the worst turbulence in all of my days of flying. Now I don't mind turbulence that much, except when we're taking off. Turbulence at a billion feet in the air isn't as bad because there's a lot of feet to fall--which gives the pilot time to turn the plane back on and point up again. But turbulence while taking off makes me a bit nervous--I swear we bounced. Even with all of that, Jella was perfect throughout the flight. We arrive in Portland about an hour late, where we are greeted by my two-and-a-half-year-old-niece-with-a-big-smile-on-her-face (sorry, got a little hyphen happy) and fists pumping wildly at the sight of us ("going cwazy," as she calls it). Made it all worth it.
Golfed Saturday morning with CoopParents and Father in Law, and did pretty well. But you don't care. Upon returning JellaMama and I went to the sealing of a really close friend of hers. There's few things in life that are better than witnessing a sealing between two people who have done it right, you know? The reception was also beautiful, though a bit hoity-toity (read: they served punch) for my tastes. We sat next to the bar (it was in a country club) so that I could see the TV (Oregon Ducks were getting rocked by USC)--JellaMama loves me even with my weaknesses.
Okay, I have come to the realization that this post is becoming as lame as the previous ones, so I'll skip to highlights. The blessing Sunday was great, although I did notice that it was void of blessing her to one day get into Dallas Roberts (interesting... perhaps she will work at Losee Jewelers?). Hanging out with families Friday afternoon and evening was so great--everyone so excited to see Jella.
Perhaps the highlight of the weekend was Sunday night. We were all sitting around Jella, who was laying on the carpet, watching all of the faces she was making. JellaMama was playing the piano beautifully to keep Jella from fussing (which works wonders, by the way), and CoopNiece was randomly pounding keys next to her. After some time, Jella became fussy, at which time CoopNiece quickly bounced off the piano bench, knelt in front of Jella, and, while lightly petting her head, started to quietly sing her "ABC's" to calm her. It even worked! I about cried. It's going to be great for Jella to grow up with cousins so close to her age.
The flight home was fine, except that I've barely slept since--I think since Baby J and her mother are still in Oregon ('til tonight--if you read this today, I miss you) I have temporary insomnia. They get back tonight though, so that'll be good. Then I can at least blame my lack of sleep on the littlun.
So back to the grind it is. It's weekends like that that, though too short, hectic, and somewhat stressful, that help you be in love with life. Even being back at work and school is sweeter. Maybe it was the trees.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Travel Log
I will be traveling to Oregon this weekend. Upon returning I promise to have a post that will redeem its author from quite a few lame posts in a row. Have a great weekend all!
Thursday, September 22, 2005
The Ring
It has been suggested that I blog about rings--like the kind you wear on your finger. I'm not exactly certain as to why, but because I am a puppet I will do so.
My wife's wedding ring was free. So that was cool. It was her great-grandmother's 29th birthday gift. It's white gold with 29 small diamonds. Really cool. I think we bought some groceries with the extra money.
My ring wasn't that expensive--although I was apparently the pickiest ring-picker-outer ever. It's not that I never found what I was looking for, it's that I didn't care what I was looking for. I just figured that if she gave it to me, then it'd be perfect. But that started to cause her stress, so I picked a really cool one. I just looked on the internet to see if I could find a picture of something resembling my ring, but I didn't. This post is getting more exciting by the sentence.
Okay, the comments on this post better be worth the time I've taken to write this, the lamest post in my short history of blogging.
My wife's wedding ring was free. So that was cool. It was her great-grandmother's 29th birthday gift. It's white gold with 29 small diamonds. Really cool. I think we bought some groceries with the extra money.
My ring wasn't that expensive--although I was apparently the pickiest ring-picker-outer ever. It's not that I never found what I was looking for, it's that I didn't care what I was looking for. I just figured that if she gave it to me, then it'd be perfect. But that started to cause her stress, so I picked a really cool one. I just looked on the internet to see if I could find a picture of something resembling my ring, but I didn't. This post is getting more exciting by the sentence.
Okay, the comments on this post better be worth the time I've taken to write this, the lamest post in my short history of blogging.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
The Daily Bubble
For an advertising research class that I was tricked into taking (It was supposed to be a communications research class, but one week before the semester started I got an e-mail saying that it was a section for advertising majors--which I'm not--and that I should go to the section for my major--which I didn't. The section for my major is held during my work time, so I am being forced to learn all about how to deceive people into believing that spending money on a useless product is a worthwhile thing to do.), I am going to be surveying lots (hundreds) of people about University's newspaper: The Daily Universe. The DU has a great circulation and is read by everyone, but their research shows that despite reading it every day, everyone hates it. We figure that everyone reads it just because it's there, it's free, and there's no alternative.So to help me figure out what questions should be on a questionnaire about the DU, I'm asking for your help!
Let me know what you think of it. Specific things, if possible. What would make you read it more? What parts do you like, what parts don't you like, etc. Just comments about anything that has to do with the DU--whatever you think. Here are the 3 responses that everyone gives, and therefore, I would love it if you didn't answer the same: 1) The editing sucks; 2) Not enough world news; 3) The Church is too involved in the paper. Here are my answers to those... answers.
1) Yes, it does. The paper is written and edited by journalism students on deadlines. It's going to suck. 2) Oh, c'mon... you don't really get your world news from the DU anyway, and wouldn't even if it had more. Most school newspapers don't have any world news at all. 3) That's not going to change. This isn't a "student-run paper" at all (despite #1). It's a free paper at a Church-run university, and copies of it are sent to the Church leaders every day--who then call the paper if they have input. So it really doesn't matter if you think they're too involved--they're not stopping, nor should they. It's their school.
So there you go! Thanks for helping!
Friday, September 16, 2005
Why are Women Always Cold?
As I was looking around the office this morning, I couldn't help but notice the the myriad of female coworkers standing on chairs underneath air-conditioning vents. Each was attempting to cover the vent above them as completely as possible with the thickest paper they could find. "It's so cold in here," they all explained to me. This as I remember how British Female Coworker who sits next to me used to have her desk equipped with a space heater.
This led me to contemplate a question that has been plaguing me for nearly two decades now: Why are women always cold?
In performing a google search on the subject, I was led to a site called Straight Dope. It's a useful site where, apparently, some guy named Cecil answers questions--what a crazy gimmick! Cecil the Omniscient offers these suggestions for why women always seem to be colder than men. I then offer my thoughts on the subject, as usual.
1) Women have less volume in relation to the surface area of their skin, and therefore shed heat quicker than men. This theory is supported by the fact that Coworker Balded is always complaining of being cold, despite the common consensus that he is a man--he has very little body volume. However, this theory is negated by the fact that I also have very little body volume but am rarely cold (by rarely I mean in the winter on a windy and twenty-degree day while riding my bike to campus without gloves), and that one or two of my female coworkers don't actually have much less volume than myself (that in no way means that they are large--I'm just not a particularly gigante fellow as was previously mentioned).
2) Men have more muscle mass, muscles have more blood vessels, more blood means more heat. In my personal case, this just makes sense. I can't argue with science.
3) Women have a higher vasoconstriction threshold temperature. Even after the paragraph explaining this theory I don't understand. I think my brain shuts off when it sees a pentasyllabic word (unless, of course, that word is pentasyllabic).
4) Women get colder during menstruation. I'm not even going to venture into this territory. However, it is highly unlikely that all female coworkers' bodies chose today to start doing their thing.
I have yet to hear a satisfactory answer to this question, but I do have a solution: men need to transfer excess body heat to women. Yes, cuddling is the only way for men and women to bridge the temperature gap. So c'mon, people, do something to better the condition of the world's inhabitants: grab a member of the opposite sex and get comfortable!
This led me to contemplate a question that has been plaguing me for nearly two decades now: Why are women always cold?
In performing a google search on the subject, I was led to a site called Straight Dope. It's a useful site where, apparently, some guy named Cecil answers questions--what a crazy gimmick! Cecil the Omniscient offers these suggestions for why women always seem to be colder than men. I then offer my thoughts on the subject, as usual.
1) Women have less volume in relation to the surface area of their skin, and therefore shed heat quicker than men. This theory is supported by the fact that Coworker Balded is always complaining of being cold, despite the common consensus that he is a man--he has very little body volume. However, this theory is negated by the fact that I also have very little body volume but am rarely cold (by rarely I mean in the winter on a windy and twenty-degree day while riding my bike to campus without gloves), and that one or two of my female coworkers don't actually have much less volume than myself (that in no way means that they are large--I'm just not a particularly gigante fellow as was previously mentioned).
2) Men have more muscle mass, muscles have more blood vessels, more blood means more heat. In my personal case, this just makes sense. I can't argue with science.
3) Women have a higher vasoconstriction threshold temperature. Even after the paragraph explaining this theory I don't understand. I think my brain shuts off when it sees a pentasyllabic word (unless, of course, that word is pentasyllabic).
4) Women get colder during menstruation. I'm not even going to venture into this territory. However, it is highly unlikely that all female coworkers' bodies chose today to start doing their thing.
I have yet to hear a satisfactory answer to this question, but I do have a solution: men need to transfer excess body heat to women. Yes, cuddling is the only way for men and women to bridge the temperature gap. So c'mon, people, do something to better the condition of the world's inhabitants: grab a member of the opposite sex and get comfortable!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Greatest. Commercials. Ever.
Even if you've seen a Terrible Terry Tate--Office Linebacker commercial before, chances are you haven't seen the full-length versions. I encourage all to watch them in their entirety. You may need a good chunk of time, but chances are if you're reading this blog you have it. Each commercial lasts about four minutes.Warning: You may need a diaper. Soiling one's self is not uncommon.
Terrible Terry Tate
(when the new window opens, click on the links)
We got spirit... how 'bout YOU?!?
The audio/visual department at Occupation has become a major annoyance. Although Department provides all employees with plush headphones (complete with the fuzzy covers to protect the ears), AV Guys find it necessary to not only ignore the free headphones but to play music and soundbites at previously undiscovered decibels. Not that I am always that excited to be focused on work, but I have come to find it a little distracting when my ears bleed.
Today Coworker BaldING brilliantly decided to turn up his speakers to an equally ear-splitting volume level and play Ace of Bass. He was able to play for about ten minutes before Coworker BaldED got nervous and turned down the insanity, quipping "We've got spirit, how 'bout you?!?"
May all of you have as unproductive a work environment as I do.
Today Coworker BaldING brilliantly decided to turn up his speakers to an equally ear-splitting volume level and play Ace of Bass. He was able to play for about ten minutes before Coworker BaldED got nervous and turned down the insanity, quipping "We've got spirit, how 'bout you?!?"
May all of you have as unproductive a work environment as I do.
Songs of the Day Working Again
I just wanted to include a quick post to all of those who were sorely disappointed to find that the links for my Songs of the Day were broken. So here it is:
They work now.
You may return to business as usual. Much like this cow.
They work now.
You may return to business as usual. Much like this cow.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Proud of My Dad
Go get 'em, Dad! This is a letter that my dad got published in The Oregonian, Oregon's only real paper. I call it a "real paper," even though sometimes I wonder about their reporting--but what news organization doesn't make you think that it's a circus from time to time? Anyway, here's the letter! The names have been changed to protect the conservatives.
Stop blaming the feds
There is a great myth perpetuated upon the American public that we can be well prepared for catastrophic natural disasters by good planning and a quick response by the federal government. In fact, we can only be better prepared.
As the former head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency's Region X in Seattle, I oversaw the federal response to massive floods, fires, earthquakes, two hurricanes and other less dramatic events in Oregon, Washington, Alaska, California, Hawaii and Guam. In my experience, in every instance, the effectiveness of the initial response was directly dependent on the preparedness of city, county and state governments, rather than the federal government.
I knew within 24 hours of Hurricane Katrina that President Bush would become the scapegoat for the failure of others. That failure of the initial response in New Orleans rests squarely on the shoulders of local and state officials. By law, in most cases the federal government provides funding for preparedness and the "how to" of an immediate initial response. But the initial response is solely the responsibility of local and state governments. Only when they fail to cope and request help (often delayed by political considerations and poor communications) does FEMA enter the scene.
The advice of the feds is often spurned by local and state officials owing to small minds and big egos believing that they know better. Time and again, I saw well-reasoned and time-tested plans discarded by local politicians and planners who simply could not and would not believe that "some federal bureaucrat" could tell them how to prepare for statistically improbable events.
Someday a great earthquake will hit the Oregon and Washington coastlines, and we will witness a similar fate. Will we be ready or will we point a finger at Washington, D.C., and whine helplessly?
CoopDad
Stop blaming the feds
There is a great myth perpetuated upon the American public that we can be well prepared for catastrophic natural disasters by good planning and a quick response by the federal government. In fact, we can only be better prepared.
As the former head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency's Region X in Seattle, I oversaw the federal response to massive floods, fires, earthquakes, two hurricanes and other less dramatic events in Oregon, Washington, Alaska, California, Hawaii and Guam. In my experience, in every instance, the effectiveness of the initial response was directly dependent on the preparedness of city, county and state governments, rather than the federal government.
I knew within 24 hours of Hurricane Katrina that President Bush would become the scapegoat for the failure of others. That failure of the initial response in New Orleans rests squarely on the shoulders of local and state officials. By law, in most cases the federal government provides funding for preparedness and the "how to" of an immediate initial response. But the initial response is solely the responsibility of local and state governments. Only when they fail to cope and request help (often delayed by political considerations and poor communications) does FEMA enter the scene.
The advice of the feds is often spurned by local and state officials owing to small minds and big egos believing that they know better. Time and again, I saw well-reasoned and time-tested plans discarded by local politicians and planners who simply could not and would not believe that "some federal bureaucrat" could tell them how to prepare for statistically improbable events.
Someday a great earthquake will hit the Oregon and Washington coastlines, and we will witness a similar fate. Will we be ready or will we point a finger at Washington, D.C., and whine helplessly?
CoopDad
Monday, September 12, 2005
Miracle Baby Passes Away
For those of you who have been with Cooped Up since the very beginning (last month?), you may remember a post that had to do with a baby that was born from a braindead mother. (The post is titled "This is why the Lord gives us science and technology" in the August archives--the link to the original story can be found there. I encourage you to read that post so that you know more of the context.) The husband kept his wife alive just long enough to give birth to their second child, and then he let her pass. It was a miracle that the baby girl came out as healthy as she was.
Unfortunately, the poor little girl had an intestinal defect that, after surgery, lead to heart failure. She died Sunday night at 5 weeks of age.
Susan Ann
Although the story doesn't end on the happiest of notes, I am certain that those who were involved are grateful for the time they got to spend with little Susan, and for the lessons they learned while enduring this horrible ordeal. I have learned valuable things through their experience, so I thank the Lord for that. May this family one day be together again for eternity.
Unfortunately, the poor little girl had an intestinal defect that, after surgery, lead to heart failure. She died Sunday night at 5 weeks of age.
Susan Ann
Although the story doesn't end on the happiest of notes, I am certain that those who were involved are grateful for the time they got to spend with little Susan, and for the lessons they learned while enduring this horrible ordeal. I have learned valuable things through their experience, so I thank the Lord for that. May this family one day be together again for eternity.
...I didn't teach her to do this. She must get this gene from her mother.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Song of the Day
Some of you may have heard of Colors before, and some of you may be a little reluctant to listen to an "LDS" band on any day but Sunday. But trust me here, Colors is better than that. I'm not just saying that because the principal singer, Brian (the guy in the middle), is my sister's husband's brother--OH yeah, I've got connections.They are three guys from Kaysville, UT, who grew up together writing songs. Two of them play the guitar and sing lead (different song, different singer), and one plays the bongos and sings backup. Their music is vocally driven--the harmonies are really the focal point of their songs, but the acoustic guitars are played extremely well. And the lyrics are always heartfelt. I encourage all to buy their CDs online or from Deseret Book. (At least "Outside the Lines," "Falling In," and "Live"--"Standing on the Sun" is their first, when they were really young. Although there's about 2 really good songs, the quality of the recording just isn't worth it.) You won't be sorry--once these CDs get into the player, they rarely leave!
How's that for a plug?
The song I chose to feature of theirs (again, in the menu bar on the right of the blog) is called "The Reggae Song." It's my favorite of theirs because of its fun factor. Brian actually laughs at one point in the song--they left it in there because it fits the mood of the song so well. If you want to hear any more of their songs, let me know!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Mad Cow Joke
Okay, the last couple of posts have been way to seriuos. So here's my favorite joke just to lighten things up.
Two cows are laying in a field, looking up at the clouds and chatting--you know, current events, politics, sports, and so forth. 'Cause cows do that sort of thing.
One cow says to the other cow, "So what do you think of this Mad Cow Disease?"
The other cow says, "What do I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Oh, I love that one.
Two cows are laying in a field, looking up at the clouds and chatting--you know, current events, politics, sports, and so forth. 'Cause cows do that sort of thing.
One cow says to the other cow, "So what do you think of this Mad Cow Disease?"
The other cow says, "What do I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Oh, I love that one.
Update on the State of Democracy
By way of update, the Governator will veto the bill I was talking about yesterday.
Aahnold Makes the Right Choice
Schwarzenegger has previously said that he believes that voters or the courts should have the last word on same-sex marriage, not the legislature.
Novel concept! The people should decide? Scwarzenegger is a renegade!
Although this is funny: "Clearly he's pandering to an extreme right wing, which was not how he got elected," said one of the bill's sponsors....
I'm sorry, the "extreme right wing" is the only group of people who oppose same-sex marriage? Did I hear you correctly? How is that possible, when all of the proposed same-sex marriage amendments failed in all states last November--including my home (and slightly crazy) state of Oregon. It unexpectedly failed by a huge margin! Interesting... I guess the "extreme right wing" is larger than I thought. It must include moderates and only slightly liberal people as well. That makes sense now.
Okay, hopefully I will stop being so serious in future posts. Sorry.
Aahnold Makes the Right Choice
Schwarzenegger has previously said that he believes that voters or the courts should have the last word on same-sex marriage, not the legislature.
Novel concept! The people should decide? Scwarzenegger is a renegade!
Although this is funny: "Clearly he's pandering to an extreme right wing, which was not how he got elected," said one of the bill's sponsors....
I'm sorry, the "extreme right wing" is the only group of people who oppose same-sex marriage? Did I hear you correctly? How is that possible, when all of the proposed same-sex marriage amendments failed in all states last November--including my home (and slightly crazy) state of Oregon. It unexpectedly failed by a huge margin! Interesting... I guess the "extreme right wing" is larger than I thought. It must include moderates and only slightly liberal people as well. That makes sense now.
Okay, hopefully I will stop being so serious in future posts. Sorry.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Democrazy
Here's the story in the San Francisco Chronicle, for those who haven't heard of it yet.Gay marriage up to Governator
No way. You're telling me that gay people are trying to get married? (Gasp!) Okay, so that's not my issue. Democracy is my issue.
California is one of the states that actually has in the wording of its state constitution that the term "marriage" describes a union between a man and a woman. That means that it has been voted as such, by the people, so that this is the way it will be. Here's an excerpt from the story:
Opponents have promised to go to court if the bill becomes law, saying it violates the spirit of Proposition 22, a 2000 ballot initiative that defined marriage as being between a man and a woman. They also say they will go to the polls next year with proposed constitutional amendments that would ban same-sex marriage.
"What about Prop. 22? What about the 62 percent of Californians who supported it? What about their will?" asked Assemblyman Dennis Mountjoy, R-Monrovia (Los Angeles County). "If this legislation doesn't subvert the will of the people, I don't know what does."
As sorry as I am to agree with anyone from southern California, Denny makes the key point here: How is it acceptable for elected officials to overturn what the people have already voted on? That is not democracy. I understand an elected official voting one way in the senate that his constituency doesn't agree with. He or she may feel that it is in the state's best interest to do so, despite what the voters say--and it is that official's prerogative, as an elected statesman. Gordon Smith, an LDS senator in Oregon, is a prime example of that. He constantly goes against the desires of his constituency and still gets re-elected--his constituency respects him. That's not my problem. If a state constitution says one thing and voters have struck down attempts at other interpretations (gay marriage advocates attempting to get around the "marriage is between a man and a woman" thing) through actual voting, then the elected officials should leave it at that.
But what if a representative thinks that the wrong choice has been made by the people? Should he/she just get comfortable with hands planted firmly between chair and cheeks? Not necessarily. Campaign! Lobby! Do whatever it is that you need to do to sway the voters! But don't try to sidestep the democratic process (much like San Francisco's mayor (among others) did a short time ago).
If the voice of the people one day comes to support gay marriage, I will accept it regardless of personal feelings. That is one of the ideals that our country is based on: the voice of the people. Demo- means "the people." (And if you look closely, you'll see "demo" inside the word democracy!)
Now I understand that the United States of America is not a true democracy. There are other countries in the world that are closer to a true democracy than the US is. We are a representative democracy, meaning we vote for people who vote for us. And if those people don't vote the way we like, we vote for others to take their place. But when a state has a voting process built in that allows the people to vote directly on issues regardless of the feelings of one elected official, that process should be respected. An elected official shouldn't try to go around the voice of the people by going to a higher authority, such as the Governor or Supreme Court Justices.
Okay, I apologize. I saw this and got agitated. I'll try not to let it happen again, but we both know I will fail.
Despite having studied politics in college and been around it my whole life, I consider my knowledge of government and the political process severely limited when compared to the collective knowledge of everyone else (imagine that). Please, if you have issues with what I've written, tell me! I'd love to hear what you have to say and force myself to think more deeply about this.
Beware the Powers of 24
Actual quote from JellaMama yesterday evening: "Dangit, all I want to do is watch "24"! And I don't think it's for Jack Bauer. He's old.Man, what a woman.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
My Version of a 3-Day Weekend
Friday Afternoon: Took Jella to her two-week doctor's appointment (actually, I don't remember what I did Friday, and I know that this happened last week, so I'm pretending that it happened on Friday). She is two inches longer, one pound and six ounces heavier (than her birth weight--she's a healthy eater), and her head was even bigger (which I didn't think would happen until she's at least two--it's a huge noggin!)!
Friday night: Watched "The Chosen" with JellaMama. JM had just read the book for a book club, and thoroughly enjoyed it. The movie, however, was lacking. We fell asleep. Which was good, because Baby J didn't let us sleep for most of the night.
Saturday Morning-Saturday Night: Slept late. Very late. It was needed. We slept so late that I don't remember what I did Saturday. I'll have to think harder.
Sunday Morning: JM went to a meeting, so I was left to care for the gorgeous but fussy Jell. The only time she stayed quiet for longer than 5 minutes throughout the morning was when I played guitar. That's pretty cool.
Sunday Afternoon: Took Jella to sacrament meeting for the first time. She was dang cute it an outfit that we just got at BabyGap the other day with the money we got from exchanging all of the boy clothes we bought pre-birth. I'm tellin' ya. Really cute. JM and I bore our testimonies, as is often the case with brand new parents. We never noticed how loud Baby J's hiccups were until we were in a silent chapel--we are dreading the day that she squirts in sacrament as explosively as she does at home. Well, JM's dreading it--I'm kind of looking forward to it. Hilarious.
Sunday Evening: Little Brother In-Law came over to do his laundry in his bi-monthly ritual. By "Little Brother," I mean he's 18. That title by no means refers to his size, which can only be classified as "wicked yuge."
Sunday Morning/Monday Night: At 3 a.m., JM and I were scanning the channels to give our minds something to zone out to as we took turns rocking JM to sleep. We happened upon a "24" marathon on A&E. Let me just say that neither of us had ever seen an episode of the show, and were skeptical about anything that is played regularly on Fox (see The O.C.). After one episode, however, we were addicted.
Monday: Between naps all day, we watched about twelve hours worth of a day in the life of Jack Bauer ("24"). I gotta tell you, that show absolutely kicks butt.
Umm... sorry. I was hoping that if I just started to write I might actually think of something funny or at least slightly clever to say about my weekend. I was wrong.
Friday night: Watched "The Chosen" with JellaMama. JM had just read the book for a book club, and thoroughly enjoyed it. The movie, however, was lacking. We fell asleep. Which was good, because Baby J didn't let us sleep for most of the night.
Saturday Morning-Saturday Night: Slept late. Very late. It was needed. We slept so late that I don't remember what I did Saturday. I'll have to think harder.
Sunday Morning: JM went to a meeting, so I was left to care for the gorgeous but fussy Jell. The only time she stayed quiet for longer than 5 minutes throughout the morning was when I played guitar. That's pretty cool.
Sunday Afternoon: Took Jella to sacrament meeting for the first time. She was dang cute it an outfit that we just got at BabyGap the other day with the money we got from exchanging all of the boy clothes we bought pre-birth. I'm tellin' ya. Really cute. JM and I bore our testimonies, as is often the case with brand new parents. We never noticed how loud Baby J's hiccups were until we were in a silent chapel--we are dreading the day that she squirts in sacrament as explosively as she does at home. Well, JM's dreading it--I'm kind of looking forward to it. Hilarious.
Sunday Evening: Little Brother In-Law came over to do his laundry in his bi-monthly ritual. By "Little Brother," I mean he's 18. That title by no means refers to his size, which can only be classified as "wicked yuge."
Sunday Morning/Monday Night: At 3 a.m., JM and I were scanning the channels to give our minds something to zone out to as we took turns rocking JM to sleep. We happened upon a "24" marathon on A&E. Let me just say that neither of us had ever seen an episode of the show, and were skeptical about anything that is played regularly on Fox (see The O.C.). After one episode, however, we were addicted.
Monday: Between naps all day, we watched about twelve hours worth of a day in the life of Jack Bauer ("24"). I gotta tell you, that show absolutely kicks butt.
Umm... sorry. I was hoping that if I just started to write I might actually think of something funny or at least slightly clever to say about my weekend. I was wrong.
Friday, September 02, 2005
And the winner is...
Luckily, the suggestions given for the new Wife and Baby code names were of such high quality, because there weren't very many. I'd be disappointed if Cicada and Daltongirl didn't step up to the plate so wonderfully (Ootsie Boodle and Thirty-Eight make it all worthwhile).
Although the suggestions were legendary, I have decided to go in another direction: ever since we considered my daughter's name, I have had the desire to call her Jello throughout her life (or at least throughout mine). However, I understand that this might cause some fat complex problems (even though I can't imagine her ending up fat, given the body types of Wife and myself). I think that perhaps making the name female will avoid these potential issues. So my daughter will now be affectionately referred to as Jella. (I just realized that if you pronounce that as if it were a Spanish word, it becomes a greeting. If you pronounce the L's, as if it were a Spanish word spoken with a bad accent, it becomes an adverb--see: Utah teenager vocabulary.)
Keeping with the tradition of Blogfriends such as Savvymom, I will also affectionately refer to my beautiful wife (formerly Pretty Pregger) as JellaMama, or perhaps JM when I get lazy or get finger cramps. (I also just realized that if you say this name with Spanish word pronunciation #2, it makes even more sense.)
So that's my final answer! Thanks to all who helped by suggesting new names, or even pretending to. This is a huge weight off of my shoulders. I can now blog about my family with the peace of mind that no wacko will find us and do horrible things (because everybody knows that wackos don't look at blog archives). Bless you all.
Although the suggestions were legendary, I have decided to go in another direction: ever since we considered my daughter's name, I have had the desire to call her Jello throughout her life (or at least throughout mine). However, I understand that this might cause some fat complex problems (even though I can't imagine her ending up fat, given the body types of Wife and myself). I think that perhaps making the name female will avoid these potential issues. So my daughter will now be affectionately referred to as Jella. (I just realized that if you pronounce that as if it were a Spanish word, it becomes a greeting. If you pronounce the L's, as if it were a Spanish word spoken with a bad accent, it becomes an adverb--see: Utah teenager vocabulary.)
Keeping with the tradition of Blogfriends such as Savvymom, I will also affectionately refer to my beautiful wife (formerly Pretty Pregger) as JellaMama, or perhaps JM when I get lazy or get finger cramps. (I also just realized that if you say this name with Spanish word pronunciation #2, it makes even more sense.)
So that's my final answer! Thanks to all who helped by suggesting new names, or even pretending to. This is a huge weight off of my shoulders. I can now blog about my family with the peace of mind that no wacko will find us and do horrible things (because everybody knows that wackos don't look at blog archives). Bless you all.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Bad Santa
I Must Know
Through my first two days of school, there was one in every class: Dude. This is the kid who is wearing faded jeans with a pink belt, sparklingly white shoes (untied), a bright pink shirt with some ridiculous phrase like "Girls Rule" or "I need a date really bad--that's why I'm wearing this ridiculous shirt," a pink wristband (yes, the same thing that sweaty people who play sports wipe the sweat off their faces with), and bleached hair so spiky that at one time I actually thought that his head was on fire. And now, females, I have to know: is this attractive?I don't mean to sound like some old curmudgeon (see codger, fogy), because I do remember a time where everything I did was to get the attention of members of the opposite sex. However, I did desire good attention, which is why I asked the above question. This can't possibly be getting Dude dates with quality girls. I see this as maybe the male counterpart of the Dallas Roberts "student" (that I hear so much about on other blogs) with hair that's half black and half blond, low-rider jeans that show her buttcrack, and a surgically-implanted cell phone with pink-sequins on her ear. How do these people get dates?
Philosophies on how to get people to look at them in class (because once a girl looks at him it is, so obviously, in the bag) may actually differ. One Dude sits in the back corner and doesn't say anything. I'm actually convinced that this Dude is the one that has a healthier self-esteem, and wouldn't seriously consider jumping from his Helaman Halls window if the girl in front of him doesn't turn around and compliment him on his hair. The other Dude, however, I worry about. He raises his hand more than anyone else and makes comments that only he (and perhaps Dallas Roberts Chick) could possibly think are brilliant. These comments might include:
"How 'required' are these books? Like, I mean, will I be tested and stuff on them?"
"When you said that you're pretty 'liberal' with grading, did you mean, like, politically?"
"If anyone wants to make a study group to go over this syllabus, I'll give you my phone number."
Disclaimer: I don't mean to judge, although I'm doing it. If you are Dude, or if you are attracted to Dude, I don't mean to offend. I only mean to know what the heck you're thinking.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Code Names
It was mentioned in one of Daltongirl's posts that Pretty Pregger needs a new code name, as the name Pregger is no longer appropriate (Pretty, however, still fits). My baby daughter also needs one. So, because of my complete lack of creativity, I am taking suggestions on code names for both. Whether or not I use any of your suggestions may be another story, but it will be fun to hear them nonetheless! So fire away--and if I use your suggestion, you may get a prize! But probably not.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Back[ing] [In]to School
Despite my best efforts to fake sick, my wife is making me go to school today. Boo. However, as she keeps telling me, the end is in sight: I have three semesters left. So if I have to work again full time next summer, then I'll be all through at the end of Fall Semester 2006. If I school straight through Summer 2006, we'll finally be out of Utah by this time next year (in theory)! So I guess I can study with that in mind--though it's making me trunky.One good thing that will come out of schooling again is that I will have more to blog about. I always have stupid things to say while I'm actually reading... and... learning... and... stuff.
Anyway, I'm taking three Communications classes and one Political Science class. So expect a lot of rants this term about the history of American politics and how my fellow Communications majors and our instructors can't communicate.
So that's your Fall Semester 2005 Preview! Game on! Or off, to make time for school. Great.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)